Expert: Nafeesah - 8/23/2009

Question
Hi there.  I'm 21.  My 22 year old ex boyfriend, who I was dating for about 4 months, is really messing with my head. He has a really bad temper and while we were dating he always got mad at me for little things and blamed me for all our problems.  Then he gave me an STI.  Two weeks ago, I broke up with him.  Since then he goes back and forth between not wanting to talk to me, and getting very angry when I don't answer his call or text.  We've had sex a few times since we broke up and even though he's never had a problem using condoms before, knows I'm not on birth control, and I've been on antibiotics, he refused to wear a condom any one of those times.  One night I was too drunk to notice and he was sober and he claimed he was too drunk to remember to use one.  The next time he promised to pull out (which I know isn't safe) and didn't.  The last time I demanded he put one on before we started and he grabbed me and started anyway.  I've gotten Plan B but I've been on antibiotics.  When I told him he shrugged and said, "I'm sure you'll be fine." I think he's trying to get me pregnant, especially because he always used to tell me it would be "kinda neat" to have a kid and he's been jealous of friends who are married or have children and I'm pretty sure he's jealous of his brother, who's expecting his first child.  When I've tried to fix things and be with him again, he puts the blame on me and says he doesn't know if that possible.  I told him just to tell me he doesn't want to be with me and not talk to me, and he ignors me, then hours later texts me and tells me he hopes I'm doing okay.  When he found out I went on a date, he freaked out.  I don't know what he wants from me and I can't stand him doing this to me anymore.
Please help.

Thank you so so so much,
Jen

Answer
I just answered a question from another girl on here who's boyfriend is abusive too and I told her that it's time to walk away. You should not tolerate this and if this guy is deliberately trying to get you pregnant and you caught an STI from this creep. God forbid it wasnt a sexually transmitted disease like AIDS, Syphillis, Gonnorhea, or Clamydia or even Hepatitis. You deserve so much better than this please trust me on this one. Abusive men serve no purpose for women like you or this other one I just answered a question to. It sounds like this guy has some serious sercurity issues if he's infecting you with an STD and deliberately trying to get you pregnant. Also when you have sex please use a condom because STDs and STIs of today are nothing nice and many of them are moving into different strains and some are drug resistant. Protect yourself because a lot of women are not able to get pregnant when they have STD and STIs that go untreated or undetected. Also I would not be drinking while engaging in sexual activity this is how many women get pregnant and contracting diseases. Your boyfriend saying it would be neat to have a baby....is he on something....seriously? He has no idea how much responsibility goes into raising a baby and it doesnt sound to me like he's mature to handle the responsibility of raising a kid he sounds like he's living a pipe dream of having a kid because it looks cute and because everyone else has one. I would begin to make some choices of how you intend to leave and I would not stay with this guy anymore he sounds like an abusive and immature jerk.