Expert: Dr.Sunu Sundar - 8/5/2009

Question
QUESTION: Hello,

I'm a PHD student in America (I'm originally from India) and I was verbally harassed by another Indian student, who was screaming obscenities at me very violently and calling me all kinds of names and making fun of my body and breast size. She was bullying me for almost a year. I am no longer in contact with this student.

The student said that if she runs into me again in the future, she will fight me.

I will probably run into her again in a few months since we will be in the same class.

After all this happened, I filed a complaint with my dean. I told them that this student had been harassing me for almost a year and was screaming at me violently. His secretary wrote back and said "do not dwell on this, focus on your studies, if you come in to contact again with this person in the future we will take necessary action."

Do you think they are blowing me off? Should I file a police report? Or just ignore it for now.

It is true, I should have contacted them while it was happening. I let it finish and then after it was over I contacted them...which I can understand why they are probably thinking "well there's nothing we can do now, it's already over"

(the dean and associates are all indian men - which is possible that they do not completely understand the seriousness of my situation since they may view it as a woman's cat fight)

If you are familiar with the Shilpa Shetty incident on big brother, this same thing is happening to me (I am very beautiful, I look extremely similar to Shilpa/Aishwarya Rai, etc) which is why I get a lot of bullying and anger and hatred from other less attractive women. I am constantly screamed at by jealous women of all races, indian, white, black etc. But this is too much.

thanks.
Tara

ANSWER: Dear Tara,
Greetings and peace.

I read  your mail and understood the seriousness of  the problem.I empathize with you.

I suggest you to  forgive and forget  the past. I think, now you cannot do  much on the past because you did not report the problems at  at the apt  hour. No worries! Next time when such problem happens you should  contact the concerned authorities immediately and make a complaint.If it falls on their deaf  ears then you must not hesitate to report to the police.

Regarding your beauty....

Thank God regularly for  your  beauty. It is God's  gift for you.Take care of your body as a sacred dwelling of God. Pray to  Him regularly and establish a committed relationship with God(I am not talking of  visiting  temple,churches etc). Spent adequate time in personal prayer daily.If you do so your beauty will ensure you a peaceful life.

Have a nice day

-Dr.Sunu Sundar

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: How do you advise that I deal with the raging hatred and anger from other obese/less attractive women?

I get a lot of nasty, dirty, horrible looks when I walk by girls. Or laughing, pointing, smirks.

If I go to a girls apartment randomly to say hi, she'll slam the door in my face.

In the nightclubs, girls (even indian ones) start screaming at me, calling me slut, bitch, whore etc.

I try to keep myself a little private...but that just makes people hate you more.

Any suggestions on dealing with other jealous women's anger?

I must add, yes I do look like Aishwarya Rai, Shilpa Shetty, Priyanka Chopra, etc... but of course there are tons of other women who are more beautiful than me in this world.

But for some reason, even if there are other more attractive girls, women seem to only pick on me. I am a sweet, friendly girl, so I don't know why this is happening.

Maybe I'm too nice and should fight back more?

Any advice?

Answer
Tara,

Anger and  hatred  can  be well managed with regular prayer,  meditation, yoga and pranayama.There is no other  way than the  above said.

Once you succeed in regular prayer and meditation(one hour daily atleast)the  negative energy stagnant in you will be 'ionized' or  charged and it will flow and radiate out as positive  energy  invisible to human eyes. This positive vibrations alone can bind the  mouth of all who  throw negative  words at you. There is no other way.

Keeping distance  from your 'friends' for  some time(atleast  6 months) and  being  indifferent to all comments, behaviors will  help you  to build on  prayer and meditation. Deactivate   that software  in you that expects positive  comments from your companions temporarily.

Have  a nice day

-Dr.Sunu Sundar