Expert: David Simonsen - 9/8/2009

Question
Hi,

Im in my mid 30's and have been dating my girlfriend for around 5 years.I met her as I was breaking up with another person who was then overseas,I did stay in contact with my ex and even met her while going out with my current GF.
This made her very upset and hurt her alot.

It was in one of those fights that she hit me,a punch.these fights would go as follows,she's be angry with me for stayin in contact with my ex,she'd have caught me in a lie and a shouting match would ensue,bad things would be said between us but this night she hit me.This has happened again over 15 times in the following 3 years.She also shouts at me constantly when she gets angry,she has never taken responsibility for hitting me,its always been my fault.
She has also humiliated me in public,not in front oif friends,usually making a scene on the street,shouting at me,she just says '' people get mad and they shout when they get mad '',She makes no apologies for it only tells me Ive turned my back on her ( that was worth getting punched and kicked for 3 hours on holidays ),Ive '' slammed '' the door '' in her face '',that is me saying goodbye in the middle of a row and closing the passenger door in her car as she's in the driving seat,thats got me a couple of hours being shouted at in public and by the end of it she has me convinced its my fault she acted like this in public.
I cant go out with my friends cause she says they are assholes,it happens like this,I can go out with them but my I'll have rows with her before,during ( she calls me on my cell ) and after becuase of it.

Above is just a taste

I'll admit I did wrong by staying in touch with and also meeting my ex,that was bad.I'd also like to say I have lost my temper and said bad things but Ive never hit her,never,oh,and lately she now spits in my face,a new way to humiliate me wheh she's decided she doesnt hit anymore

I dont know how to leave her

Answer
Stevie,
Yikes, why would you stay in this relationship. If course it is abuse. You leave her by simply stopping contact with her. If you can't do this, then you shouldn't complain about the abuse you are choosing to continue to take from her. Leave NOW.
David
www.help4life.net