Expert: David Simonsen - 10/6/2010

Question
My name is Alicia and I am 21 years old. I moved in with my father when i was 16 because my mother died. To this day im still living with him. My father is not the easiest person to get along with, alot of my friends tell me tht he is abusing me, it may not be physical abuse but its emotional abuse. He constantly puts me down and calls me names and he has a horriable temper tht sometimes scares me so much tht when he is in a bad mood (which is almost every day) i just sit in my room and lock the door and put on my headphones. I just dont know what to do, i cant talk to him about it cause he will just start yelling and slamming things, but i dont know how to get out of this situation, i have absolutly no self esteem anymore, i never really had alot to begin with but any confidence i once had in myself is gone, all i do is sit in the house on the computer, im severly depressed and i just dont know what to do. Please any advice u can provide would be great

thanks u

Answer
Alicia,
You know that great thing about your age is that you can simply leave. Now before you say you can't if your situation is as bad as you say then you should be able to find a better living situation. There has got to be other family or friends that will be willing to take you in. Self-esteem is not developed by your father. Self-esteem is by you doing things to impress yourself. The more you do to impress your self-esteem the more it gets built. So sitting in your room doing nothing does not build your self-esteem. Working, going to school, volunteering etc... will build your self-esteem. If you simply choose to stay stuck in your room then that is on you not your dad. Seek out a therapist who can help give you some ideas on how to leave your home soon.
David
www.help4life.net