Expert: james52144@earthlink.net - 3/17/2010

Question
My name is Nichole and Im 20 . I have been together when my fiance for 4 years and we have a 2 yr old son together. Over the past year ive began to see his inner agressive side . When we fight he calls me name like stupid a retard and sometimes he even gets physical. It has nevr gotten to the point when he has punched me but he has thretened to. I dont know what to do and i know its unhealthy for our son seeing. Ive thought about leaving but i cant bear the thought of him with anyone else or anyone else around my son for that matter. He tells me he hates my mother and that she is a bad influence but in reality she has been getting me through these past 2 yrs raising our son. I want another way to help the realtionship cause i dont want to leave him but it comes down to that i will 100% do it. I know what its like to have to choose between mom and dad and its painful and i dont want to put my son through it. Can u help me with some adive
NICOLE

Answer
Dear Nicole

It sounds like he is immature and frustrated because he sees your mother having more control over you than he does. That is a tough one to crack, especially if he is getting more and more violent. You both need marriage counseling. Good luck.