Abusive Relationships/my boyfriend.

Advertisement

Expert: - 5/18/2010


Question
hello Sunu , i am 21 year old i am with my boyfriend for 5 years, he love me very much  and i too but his anger is sometime become a headache for me, when he is angry he talk very loudly and don't care about where we are! today we went to an ice cream parlor . there were a little confusion over type of flavor and unfortunately he got angry and then he shouted at me, i feel insulted there. i think that every ordinary person must not be insulted, he do not care of my reputation . when he get angry , i do nothing beside shutting my mouth because i don't want to make the situation worse. i talked to him over this matter but he rarely say that it was wrong, usually he said that he will not change himself for me and if i want to live with him i should have to accept him as he is . what to do with him.generally i do not talk to him for few hours, then he says sorry and we get together , but it happens again. i do not like to feel insulted. beside this i am happy with my boyfriend. what should i do stop this ? should i bear this for ever ?

Answer
Dear Teena,


Yes, if you want to live  with this boy  you  will have to put up  with his   shouting in the present  and future  shouting and   other negative 'bonuses' along with  his  shouting.

There is no  guarantee that  in the future your boyfriend   will just stop with shouting. In usual patterns, as time goes, shouting will be accompanied with verbal and   physical  abuses and then the concerned  persons come to an 'enlightenment' that they are trapped.

This is the time for you to decide. Decide not based on emotions. Decide based on realities.

Pray to God. This  is very very important. God alone can reveal to you if your choices of life are correct and guide you accordingly

Have  a nice  day  

Abusive Relationships

All Answers

Answers by Expert:

Ask Experts

Volunteer

Dr.Sunu Sundar

Expertise

I am a psychologist committed to Christ and enjoy relationship in His company.I can answer questions related to sexually abusive relationships in families. I can effectively deal with victims of abusive relationship. I am also efficient in dealing with child abuse and incest. I am here to help others who have questions related to above said issues. You may visit www.mindpanchakarma.org to know more about my mission

Experience

I have been a dealing with victims of sexual abuse since 2000.I have dealt with many teenagers who suffered abusive relationships. Listening to victims of incest and child sexual abuse has made me a better counselor in dealing with these issues.

Organizations
Mind Detoxification Therapy Home Ashram(MDT) In Mind Detoxification Therapy Home Ashram we treat people focusing on holistic healing. Various types of therapies offered here for detoxifiying the mind and body are derived from the wisdom of traditional Indian medical system and medicines. Victims of abusive relationship are offered special One to One residential therapy for complete healing of mind. Special packages for healthy life are available for couples and students. Treatments offered her are based on alternative medical system derived from the wisdom of saints on ancient times. Treatments are harmless with no side effects. A team of doctors headed by Dr.Sunu,committed towards the welfare of the patients are on duty in the MDT clinic

Publications
I have been writing on psychological issues in a Tamil monthly magazine called 'KULANTHAIGAL PARALUMANTAM'. I also write in a health magazine Makkal Maruthuvam.

Education/Credentials
I have a Master degree in Psychology. I also have another Master degree in Sociology. I have taken intense training from the Jesuits for seven years in the field of Personality, Self, Discipline and Morality. I am a psychologist committed to Christ and enjoy relationship in His company.

©2012 About.com, a part of The New York Times Company. All rights reserved.