Expert: David Simonsen - 6/24/2010

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Emotional Abuse Question?
I asked a question prior to this one asking if I was crazy, and I was informed that I could be a victim of emotional abuse, and i'd like to ask for some advice from women who have gone thorough these things im about to list and some advice.

- I'm having pregnancy symptoms against all the odds and my Ex is calling me a crazy dumb *****

- He informed me he thought I was retarded he only talked to me because he felt sorry for me, and he doesnt love me any more and never will

- He has informed me he doesnt give a f*ck about my feelings or if I leave.

- He cut off all contact with me for a few days, and came back because he felt like an asshole

- I asked him to say sorry, and he says I don't deserve it, he meant everything, and I am crazy and I have mental issues

- He claimed that I lied about my period, I told him I had kinda had my period because it was lighter and shorter than usual, and he called me a liar also earlier I thought I saw a positive pregnancy test and he told me I wasnt, and now is claiming I'm lying about being pregnant and keeps calling me crazy, and told his sister this and now she thinks I have issues to. She was very nice to me before, now she is not talking to me.

- Prior to this he came to LA to be with me, didnt like it and said If I didnt come back to cali with him then he would cut off all contact with me after my 18th birthday, he threatened to a few times but ended up coming back the day after these episodes

- Now he is saying I don't love him enough, but leaving would hurt my family and compromise my college plans. I told him that I would come in the fall, but he says if I do come he would pack up his stuff and go somewhere else.

- This is one of many times he has cut off all contact with me for a week and come back, but he usually comes back very loving and sorry, but now he is just sticking to being mean.

- He is abusing alcohol much harder now since he has dumped me, he has called me a few times crying about how much he missed me, or yesterday he told me he was high and all he could think about was me but he tells me he doesnt give a **** about me anymore

- When he was with me he was the most gentle, loving person, he never hurt me in any way when I was right infront of him, but now that he has moved back he is very mean to me.

I bought him a birthday present for his 21st birthday and he said it sucked, it was bad quality, and not to buy him anything else, and he would buy the same thing that was 3x expensive..and I spent most of my paycheck getting this for him because it was a special birthday even after all of this then he informed me he was excited to open his present. He didnt give me anything for my 18th birthday not that I was looking for anything but he was still very mean and eventually got mad and stopped talking to me.

When he doesnt talk to me there is still some kind of contact such as poking on facebook.

I'm not sure what his problem is, maybe he is Bipolar or I don't know, I love him very much, I dont want him to drink himself to death or anything what can I do to help him

Answer
Anne,
You shouldn't be with this guy. I can't help you because staying with a person like this is tantamount to be mentally ill. You need to get back with your family. Apologize for not listening to them and try to start over. You can't do anything to change this guys behavior. He needs to be the one that changes things. As long as he has people in his life (you) that accept his bad behavior he will continue on with bad behavior. Have more self-respect and leave this guy.
David
www.help4life.net