Expert: Dr.Sunu Sundar - 8/10/2010

Question
I am in love with a person addicted to cocaine. The moment he does the drug, he has numerous sexual fantasies which he wants me to engage in, like gang bang, swaps, three way etc. I am a very simple girl, but since I love him so much I am not able to give up, i submit to his demands, giving in even when I hate it, when I dont he says I am lying, because he thinks I am as much a sex maniac. Sex is the last thing on my mind, and even if is it would only be reserved for my loved one. We have not been physically intimate at all. Every weekend we end up fighting. He thinks and claims that I have been sleeping around with every body including the watch man, the place where I work and the numerous drug dealers he has introduced me to. He says he has trust issues, he keeps checking my phones,making up illusionary messages and scenes, if anybody calls me, he says they are calling for sexual favours...My life was limited to going to work and back home before 4 months, now it is filled with anxiousness and stress. I have NOBODY in my mind except him, and yet I am blamed constantly with words as "hoar and slut". I am feeling drained and devastated and yet letting go is very very tough on me. I cannot visualise anything bright and beautiful even for myself. Is it normal for people to behave like this on cocaine? He is a wealthy person and he keeps talking about doing well for himself once the loan he has applied for comes through, when he is on cocaine or sober he talks about great career moves and getting the world, but when it comes to actions he usually is not there.He has done this for almost 6 years now on and off.The last sober period was 24 March 2010, after which he has don it regularly, almost 6-10 gms maybe even more. I want him to do well with my soul...how can I help him? At one time I even wanted to marry him, but I have realised our lives are different, if not marriage even sustaining this friendship is so hard with all these accusations. Please help me, because I am feling very very hurt and extremely directionless. As a mature person who has dealt with numerous cases like this please advise what is the most sensible thing for me to do. I have been wanting to get married to a nice person for a very very long time, somebody who appreciates me for who I am, and would care for me the feeling would be mutual, please pray for me....PLEASE

Answer
Dear Sherin,

Greetings  from  Sunu

I  can understand well the pain of you heart,however as  a man, psychologist committed to the  ways of Jesus I  wish to  guide  you i reality based on spiritual   laws and principles


You  say "I have NOBODY in my mind except him,.."
The first  step for you to find  a  solution  here is to invite God in your mind.

If you are serious  about a  peaceful life,  you must  resort to live  a holy life an shed all unholy relations and friends that  are against the spiritual laws. You must spent ample time in prayer  daily..atleast one hour in the morning.

You must  know that  drug is not only an addiction  it has  also much to do with the 'dark forces' of this world  possesing and controlling those  who are  in to drugs.

I  PRAYED FOR YOU AND FIND THAT YOU MUST  CUT  ALL KINDS OF COMMUNICATIONS WITH HIM THE  EARLIEST,THIS ALONE WILL HELP YOU TO  BE  SAFE  AND   PEACEFUL IN LIFE

The boy's  parents with the help of doctors, psychologist and holy men of  God  alone can  do something  to take  care of this boy. All you  try to do for this boy will be  a  complete waste  at this  scenario.

I would like to know more about his  family, work and  your work and family for further  guidance

For  further guidance you may write to me at outreach.matters@gmail.com

Have  a nice day

-Dr.Sunu