Expert: David Simonsen - 9/9/2010

Question
Your Question was:

Why does an old boyfriend thinks he owns me?
25 years ago in high school I fell deeply in love with my boyfriend. I was a virgin at the time and I just didn't want to go all the way, but his dad died some months later and all my girlfriends were telling me you have to show him how much you love him. I was so confused because I didn't know what to say to him so I finally gave in to peer pressure and had sex with him. We had sex twice and a few weeks later he broke up with me. After we broke up, he was a dog screwing everyone openly my friends anyone he could find. Fast forward to 2010 before our school reunion. I contacted him and some more friends to see how they were doing. All the secrets were unleashed. He was sleeping around on me got my friend pregnant while we were dating. His dad and her parents may her get rid of it and his dad told him to stay with me because I was the best person for him. He was battling STDs everything. I did not know any of this at the time. He said he was in love with the girl he got pregnant and loves her til this day BUT he tried to get back together with me my first year in college and once again before I got married(he begged me not to get married) He calls me ***** trick and hoe with his friends but he tried to get their help a month ago to get me in bed with him. He tells the love of his life he has to sleep with me to embarrass me and tell him he doesn't love me and to get the hell on. In his mind he thinks I am still in love with him. She tells him to go ahead and sleep with me and call her name while he is doing it. Mind you she knows he sleeps with her friend which was my best friend at the time. He has had this circle of sleeping with them and everyone else he can and they are okay with it. He also told her (talking about me) she thought she walked out of my life; his love said baby you let her go. He is still jealous of who I am with because I am not with him but he says I am his toy and he loves another. He was my first and I told him in the past I thought he was my soul mate but not today. I had a soft spot for him but he is so evil I don't want to be his friend now. Why does he believe he has a hold on me?


Answer
Janet,
This is 25 years old? It is a bit unbelievable that you are letting this still affect you as a 43 year old woman? Rather than worry about him believing he has a hold on you why don't you move on from this and live a different life? This kind of stuff just keeps you stuck and is unfruitful to actually living life effectively.
David
www.help4life.net