Expert: David Simonsen - 9/25/2010

Question
I have a girlfriend whose last serious ex of 5 years repeatedly cheated on her. I have  been dating her for 5 months. About a month in, i started to notice that anything pertaining to ex girlfriends or friends that are female that i have known for  2 years to 35 years, she has a problem with me having them in my life. They arent in it per say, they do text me once in a while to say hello or even call. She demanded me to tell her at once anytime one of these persons texts me or calls me. If i don't tell her about it, she thinks i am, in her words, "betraying" her. And therefore says, I'm not to be trusted. Keep in mind , she has exes in her life and male friends that text her and call. She borrows things from them too But, i never ask about anything or ever guilt trip her, ever.. She says, that since she tells me about these messages or calls from them that its ok because shes out in the open with it. I say, no way. If she trusted me she wouldn't even ask me about it. Am i out of my mind or is she insecure and controlling? We are in our early 40's. And, im scared to death every time my phone rings

Answer
Jaime,
C'mon why are you still with her? You are old enough to know if a relationship is a good fit or not. This is not a good fit. You have more than enough information to know what you shouldn't be dating her. She needs to work through some things with a therapist. Instead of that she is using you to work things through and it's not happening. I would suggest if you can't break up with her then at least take a break and let her know what she needs to get some therapy in order for you two to continue dating.
David
www.help4life.net