Abusive Relationships/spouse porn abuse

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Expert: - 9/20/2010


Question
I am in a common law relationship, we have 3 young children together, my spouse looks at porn a lot. He looks at it on the Internet, I have asked him to stop, and he does for a while but then I almost certainly catch him looking again(maybe this time he won't start again). He has porn mags in his bed side table, I asked him to get rid of them, he said he would, then just left them there. I often see him checking women up and down, focusing on their breasts if they have cleavage showing. I seen him looking at young women- as in possibly under the age of consent. Once I caught him looking at porn that looked like girls under the age of consent, I confronted him and he says that was a dark area of his life and he does not do that anymore. He tells me that he looks at all this and thinks of me and how I am the same or how I am different from what he is looking at, I think its an excuse that he thinks will work on me, it doesn't. I worry that he has cheated, even though he is the one that gets jealous and thinks even though I go everywhere with my children, that I am sneaking off to see someone. I also worry that this could be behaviour  that shows he has a sickness for porn, and that maybe he has a problem with underage women, that might border on illegal? I would like to know what you think about his behaviour? Could this behaviour show that he is or has cheated? I worry about leaving my children with him, should I trust him? He shows a interest in changing. At the same time, I have caught him holding back information. I want to move forward, but I feel so anxious when it comes to trusting him.  

Answer
There are chances of him cheating on you

You  definitely need to  be  have an  eye on him over your children

He needs  spiritual treatment. He has to repent and  come to God. No way to help him  otherwise.He  will not change  unless he  commits himself fully to God.

You cannot trust a man,woman so easily  who is  not in God  fully


Have  a nice day

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Dr.Sunu Sundar

Expertise

I am a psychologist committed to Christ and enjoy relationship in His company.I can answer questions related to sexually abusive relationships in families. I can effectively deal with victims of abusive relationship. I am also efficient in dealing with child abuse and incest. I am here to help others who have questions related to above said issues. You may visit www.mindpanchakarma.org to know more about my mission

Experience

I have been a dealing with victims of sexual abuse since 2000.I have dealt with many teenagers who suffered abusive relationships. Listening to victims of incest and child sexual abuse has made me a better counselor in dealing with these issues.

Organizations
Mind Detoxification Therapy Home Ashram(MDT) In Mind Detoxification Therapy Home Ashram we treat people focusing on holistic healing. Various types of therapies offered here for detoxifiying the mind and body are derived from the wisdom of traditional Indian medical system and medicines. Victims of abusive relationship are offered special One to One residential therapy for complete healing of mind. Special packages for healthy life are available for couples and students. Treatments offered her are based on alternative medical system derived from the wisdom of saints on ancient times. Treatments are harmless with no side effects. A team of doctors headed by Dr.Sunu,committed towards the welfare of the patients are on duty in the MDT clinic

Publications
I have been writing on psychological issues in a Tamil monthly magazine called 'KULANTHAIGAL PARALUMANTAM'. I also write in a health magazine Makkal Maruthuvam.

Education/Credentials
I have a Master degree in Psychology. I also have another Master degree in Sociology. I have taken intense training from the Jesuits for seven years in the field of Personality, Self, Discipline and Morality. I am a psychologist committed to Christ and enjoy relationship in His company.

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