Expert: Dr.Sunu Sundar - 4/30/2011

Question
I've been married for 8 years to my second husband, whom I met online, when I met him he was very romantic, however controlling, calling me every 20 minutes, I thought it was normal being that he was in one state, and I was in another.  months after we got married. He was very nice with my 9 year old son.  crazy things began to happen. in our first date he accused me of looking at other men in the streets, or while he was driving the car. things that were not true. I am  to in love to look at anyone else. things got worst as days past.  I stayed in the relationship because i love him. we have been married for 8 years.  he is so weird, when he's loving he is so wonderful, but when he is mean, he is the most hateful person, he accuses me of infidelity, which is not true. he accuses my son of terrible lies. he has been fisacle and verbally abusive. (sometimes he treats me like a Queen) other day he treats me like a door mat)he says he love me, and that all he wants is for things to work out.  but when he's angry he wishes my death. He always puts the blame on me for what ever goes wrong. when I ask him a simple question, or confront him with something he did that annoyed me, he will turn crazy, yell at me like a nut, cry, I cannot have friends, cannot go to a gym where there are men. and on top of all this, he tells me that he is going to leave me because I persecute him. when I call him, he says i get him nervous? and that do to my behavior, he has been feeling sick, chest pains, acid stomach. I am still married to him, I cannot understand why, I guess I love him although his behavior is so crazy. he has hit me many times, tried to choke me more then 4 times, throw things at me when he gets angry, but when he is nice, he tells me how much he loves me, buys me what ever I want. pampers me like I have never been pampered before. and the same for my son. I'm writing this now, and still cannot understand why I just cannot stand on my feet, and terminate this crazy marriage where I have been abused for so many years. why "can i not just leave him". walk away and forget I ever met him.

Answer
Dear  Grace,

Greetings and peace to you!

I  wonder if it was the right decision   to marry this person.


Interrupted  love  frequented by  wounding behaviours from your  husband's  side needs  very careful study by  a psychologist. Human beings are not created for living a peace less life and  I believe  any thing that  is hindrance to your happy life   should be  eliminated from your  life.

Marriage  life  should  never  be a  mixture of   'sometime love'  and  'some time  hatred'.

Life is once  and you have every right to live  that  life happily.

Are you prepared for a separation?


For   further guidance you  may  contact me at outreach.matters@gmail.com

Dr.Sunu
www.mindpanchakarma.org