Expert: james52144@earthlink.net - 8/8/2011

Question
Hello,
I was wondering why it is so difficult for me to make a commitment. I feel like there is something wrong with me. I am at an age where everyone is coupled up and dating except me. I always blamed it on my difficult past and the fact that nothing "ever works out." I would like some positive advice on how to improve my life and not be stuck in the past of an emotional/verbal abusive relationship.
Thank you!

Answer
Dear Anna

You need to engage in activity where the focus is helping other people. You are stuck in what is called "victim mentality" where you think you are a victim. You need to focus on others to work through that. Your opinion that you had a "difficult" past is the thinking that is blocking you from having what you want. You have to forget who you were in order to enjoy who you are.