Expert: Kriss Mitchell, M.Ed, CRC, CNHP - 9/16/2011

Question
My grandaughters are school sged. They say their stepfather abuses their mother, physically, name calling. They have been threatened by him. The oldest says she is afraid he will kill their mom. They are terrified of him. He has hit them, said very nasty words, yells constantly, makes degrading comments.Insists they call him "daddy". Their mother has learned they are afraid, want to move in with their biological dad. She denies any abuse. Refuses to allow them to live with their father as she has had custody since the divorce 7 years ago. The children insist she is lying.We have no faith in the Childrens Aid Society as they cause several families more harm then good. Ontario CAS ignore several claims and believe parents statements. What do I do. My grandaughters want out, their dad will take them, he is trying. The signs of emotional trauma are present. The oldest is afraid of everything, very easily scared. She misses many school days with tummy trouble. The youngest was an outstanding student in kindergarten, now below average in the past 3 years.She has a problem with telling the truth. I can't sleep, I am worried sick every minute. Their mother has threatend court action against me or anyone in our family who contacts the authorities. She runs a gov't licensed day care in her home. Other young children have observed some violence. Too young to understand. There is also a 3rd child between the mother and step-father.
Please advise, I have to do something but fear making the situation more difficult for the children while their father is trying to convince their mother to allow them to live with him.

Answer
This is a very difficult situation and I am only limited in my ability to answer your question.  This is really a legal matter and should be referred to an attorney or your local child protection agency.  Someone has to step up and be the hero for these kids.  Talking to an attorney who specializes in these matters would be my best advice.

Thank you for the question and I wish you all the best.

Blessings, Kriss Mitchell