Abusive Relationships/strange


Hello. I have a friend, well, what I thought was a best friend for the last five years.
I am trying to make a long story short....
I was dating a man, she basically helped tear our relationship apart by pitting us against each other. She would help create arguments by making herself look sweet. I really did not realize this until much later. She has also pitted me against co-workers. I realized this much later. Actually, I am just now starting to realize it, and it has been in my face this entire time, but you know, you are suppose to trust a friend.

Anyways, it is a long story, but I found out about 8 months ago that she was in love with me. I do not feel the same way. However I assumed that our friendship could last, so I looked passed this.

She has started becoming obsessive and doing weird things. She started talking about someone, and whom she was going to set whom up with. She told me this was a good looking guy, etc.... Anyways, out of curiosity, I asked her what the name was, so I could look it up, because I was genuinely curious to see what all of the fuss was about. She refused, and said it was because she doesn't want me talking to him, or something weird. She also told me that if she approves of someone, or what ever she would let me know.

Well I wasn't looking to date anyone. IF I WAS, she should not be acting that way.

She asked me today, if I would marry her. I laughed it off like it was some type of joke, hoping that she would stop hitting on me. She is acting completely obsessive and she is starting to get crazy.

Do you have any insight into what is going on in her mind? Do you think she has the potential to get worse?

I do not understand her anymore. She is not acting like my friend.
No we have never been involved, or anything. I am completely bothered right now thinking about everything that has been destroyed, friendships, etc.

It is hard to rpedict her action since you can't controll her. It is more important to ask your self how best to avoid further complication- have to admit, if she's so successful at pitting you against your friends and others, and others against you, then either you or the people around you are having some separate issues as well.
Examine your actions, and the ones of those you care about, and think how/what you can change to prevent this from happening any more.

Abusive Relationships

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Johnny St. Tai


Human relation is a complex machine. Whether you're feeling hurt and abused, or have fear regarding that you might've hurt someone unknowingly, let us try to understand the problem. By understanding the problem, we can face it, and resolve it. I do not deal in miracle, I deal in reality.


I have been a counsellor for 10 years. I've done both professional and volunteer work in this field. I came from a vicious family, have walked through abuse, murder attempts, addiction, and much more.

Richmond Chimo Crisis Center.

Interpersonal/Social Relation Specialist, UBC Socialwork, 2005.

Past/Present Clients
Over 500.

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