Abusive Relationships/Abused

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Question
Hello,
Ihave been through this relation where i met a guy and fell for him while at that time i wAs recovering from another relaion ship that i had online with some one i have never met...this guy used to speak to me and i knew it was never love but i really got attached to him because i needed some one in my life and i needed to feel i have alife but once he told me he cheated on me and we had to break up so we decided to be friends and i promesd him to be his friend for ever but after a year i met this guy i truly liked and i knew ihave to stop talking to this guy online or thinking of him and i felt like am a bad person because i promised to be his friend so i told this new guy that i cant be with him because i want to be free he felt so bad and he told me he would do any thing to get me out of this...
He told me i will help you to forget him and stop thinking of him so i went i called tht guy and told him iam inlove and i have some one and have to leave for ever what he did was begging me to get back to him nd the call ended there.... The guy i loved for real started to treat me very bad aftr i told him about the call...ifelt am shoaking....ineeded to talk to the online guy to know that he does not rlg need me and that iam not bad forleaving him because we were just friends.... and i felt so alone because every thing i do is wrong to the guy i love he used to threaten me that if i cheat on him he will harm me so he gave me the chance to leave but i loved him and iknew he loved me soi stayed....iam very bad socially so i made many troubles with friends and he was always included he used to swear at me and yell at me and believe every thing people tell him about me then come to ask me in a cery scary way... Iused to say incomplete truth to him because i never trusted him but after that he called me lier... (We do not saysvery thing to strangers right away)
He used to tell me iwas cheating on him while iwas not
What i did was. I told him its over and connected startd to speak to the online guy just because iam in a strugle about the friendship promise i made and my lover couldnt help me in that... Istopped talking to him but my lover was not there....after that of a month me and my lover got back to talking an he said he loved me and want me so i told him about chatting to that guy he swore at me and said iam a cheator and there the real hell started....
Itried to meet him talk to him many times he used to come and talk and we sat many times but still he insisted iam a cheator and every thing i do was a great mistake ge called me lier over and over....
Its been 3years since we broke up but till this day every single day i send him and beg him to understand iam not a lier iam not a cheator i just had issues....he threatens to harm me but i just cannot stop isend him every day atleast19 msgs and i follow him every where if i had the chance to be where he is  he swears he yells he threatens.... I just want him to listen to me....
Iam not bad i just had social issues
need help now..."

Answer
Dear Yona, I am going to make this short and clear -

GET AWAY from all abusive threatening men.

DON'T love them, get away and don't let them find you.  

People who threaten violence eventually ACT ON IT, and you could die.

When they leave, consider it a BLESSING

Go to Counseling - get yourself in order before you date again - find out the why and how to why you think the way you do with a counselor.

Do the above NOW

Best,

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Sonya Snyder

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All answers pertaining to surviving and leaving abusive relationships

Experience

Was a victim of domestic violence and abuse, and studied to get my MA in forensic psychology to understand the abnormal mind of serial abusers. Much abuse isn't physical, and though it can be the most damaging long term - the emotional abuse is rarely understood nor dealt with by our court and legal systems, leaving victims feeling trapped and unsupported. I will give back to others what I have learned as a successfully surviving and thriving veteran of both family and domestic abuse, so they can get out, heal, and live truly free, too.

Education/Credentials
BA Journalism, soon-to-be completed MA in Forensic Psychology

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