Abusive Relationships/Sex offender


Hi, I started talking to this guy whom I met online a little over 2 weeks ago. He seems like a nice guy, very charming, funny. I love talking with him but I Googled him and found that he's a level 3 sex offender. I told him I knew and he admitted it, but wouldn't say what happened when I asked. He always says I can ask anything, except that I guess. He has said, he likes to talk about sex once in a while nd that he thinks about it every now and then. The subject of sex has come up a fue times in the last 3 days, casually brings it up. He hasn't forced me to talk about anything I didn't want to and always gives me an option sutch as, you dont have to answer or talk about it if you aren't comfortable. Said he wants me to feel comfortable with him and I said, "I know" and he said, "I hope you do". I asked what kind of relationship he was looking for and he said, friend or girlfriend and that what ever happens between us is fine. I also asked him if I had any reason to be fearful of him and he said, no. He doesn't knnow the exact location where I live but he knows what I look like and as do I about him.
I have a couple of questions. Is it ok if I continue to talk with him? Do you think he could be menipulating me in order to gain my trust? I'm afraid I could start having feelings for this guy that I may not be able to ignore if I keep talking with him. He has also told me I'm cute 4 different times.
Please help as soon as you can. Thank you

Dear Melissa,

Thanking you inquiring with All Experts. I see red flags all over with your friend. He is being patient, meek, and demonstrating a passive personality. From my experience in dealing with sex offenders, they are sutile in their approach as to not create any waves with whom they have targeted. This is their way of manipulating there victims. They always try to gain  their  victims confidence by feeling them out and adjusting their m.o. to match their behavior. Its a con game which you have lead him. Additionally, Meeting a guy on line...VERY BAD IDEA.

I would consider your options now and not wait until something unfortunate happens.



P.S. In Job 28:18 it says, "Coral and rock crystal themselves will not be mentioned, but a bag full of wisdom is worth more than one full of pearls."  

Abusive Relationships

All Answers

Answers by Expert:

Ask Experts


Dr. DDD, M.S.,Psy.D, CASA


I will help you make an informed decision. Through my scholar and experiential experience, I can try to qualify the answer to almost any question. I have a multitude of resources at my disposal to be disseminated to all those who want to help themselves. I can only provide solutions if you are willing to make an honest effort to help yourself. I can facilitate the response but ultimately you are the answer.


I have been in the civil service field of the law enforcement and judicial system for over 15 years in juvenile and domestic violence ranging from verbal abuse to physical and sexual abuse. I have investigated the cause and effect of abuse from its inception to unfortunate outcomes. My goal is to give you the power to make an informed decision so that it ultimately benefits you and your family.

I have many secular organizations that I am associated with that has enabled me to utilize my knowledge and experience to aid those within those inside and outside the organization.

I have legal publications where my secular work has been noted.

I have a Masters in Criminal Forensic Psychology along with associated certificates involving legal, psychological, and family matters. I have been a mediator in my secular employment and also a hostage negotiator. I have also studied theology and always relate spiritual matters to help people by seeking the scriptures for answers. God is the foundation of any good marriage and I would be remiss if I did not involve him in at least a small area of your concern.

Awards and Honors
I am a decorated officer with commendations relating to field. But my awards and honors that I value is when I am able to help somebody in thier times of need.

Past/Present Clients
All past and current clients are kept confidential.

©2016 About.com. All rights reserved.