Abusive Relationships/verbal abuse


Your question was why is it that nothing I do is ever good enough?

please help me.  I am in a relationship with a 46 year old man. he can be sweet and loving at times. I have always been loving, considerate and helpful when he asked for help.  This past weekend he asked for my help and when I helped him he
started screaming and yelling at me. (he wrote the wrong amount on a receipt and i showed him and corrected it)I tried to explain but he shut me out. He put me down and said alot of hurtful words that broke my heart. I know he was in an
abusive relationship before but I have never screamed at him or belittled him.
This is not the first time I have been verbally abused by him. I am strong believer in prayer and have prayed. im feeling depressed, frightened, anxious and guilty for always trying to help or be good.

Dear Liz,
That is a very subjective question. It would seem that what you are referring to reflects his opinion only, which most likely is not correct.  It sounds like he has some issues if he is screaming and yelling about such an insignificant thing.  Those issues may be coloring his judgment.  If he is a perfectionist, nothing will satisfy him except perfection and we all know that level of expectation is not possible.  

Your opinion counts just as much as his and you don't have to agree with his assessment of your help. If you did something that he wasn't expecting, the appropriate response would have been to calmly explain to you what he needed and what his expectations were. If he is verbally abusive, he needs some help in order to learn how to respond appropriately to others.  

In conclusion, I also believe in prayer, but sometimes the answer to prayer is seen in the wisdom of removing ourselves from the abusive situation.  

Thank you for the question and if I can be of any further assistance, please feel free to contact me again.

Abusive Relationships

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Kriss Mitchell, M.Ed, CRC, CNHP


I can answer questions regarding emotional and physical abuse in dating and marriage situations, however I am unable to give legal advice. Having had firsthand experience in an abusive relationship, I understand the feelings, the questions and the doubts we have as we try to make decisions about how to improve our situations. I am also able to address spiritual concerns regarding staying in or leaving these types of situations.


Having been a victim of emotional abuse for many years and having family members who were in violent abuse situations, I have personal experience on many levels. I have since gone on to become a professional counselor and work with abused women.

American Mental Health Counselors Assn., American Association of Christian Counselors, International Association of Prayer Counselors

I currently maintain a blog at www.livingwellcc.blogspot.com. I also have links and currently written articles on my website at www.livingwellcc.com. You can also follow me on TWITTER @livingwellcc, or on facebook at Living Well Counseling and Consulting. My writings have appeared in The Good News Northwest and the North Idaho Business Journal

Licensed Professional Counselor, Board Certified Professional Christian Counselor, Certified Rehabilitation Counselor, Certified Natural Health Professional

Awards and Honors
Board Certified Christian Counselor

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