You are here:

Abusive Relationships/break up with obsessive boyfriend


Break up with Obsessive boyfriend?

My name is Sarah and I'm 22. I've known this guy for about 6 years now. We have date before but I ended it. Almost 7 months ago I thought I should give him a second chance almost 3 years after our breakup. So yes I'm with him now. Well almost. Here's the deal. He kind of scares me even though I love him to bits. Anyway I'm really starting to make excuses for him. Every time someone tell me it's not okay the only thing that seems to come out of my mouth is BUT......
Some of the date he shows are

-sending text all hours of the day. Actually every minute, if I write back more than 1-2 minutes late he'll be mad and say our relationship has changed.

-he cries a lot when we fight

-he is overly protective and jealous

- I'm not allowed to do some specific things like: have guy friend. Stay out late. Go to fitness after 12 in the afternoon because a lot of guy comes around then. I can't even think that some one is cute in tv he'll be very mad at me.

-he cries and gets mad about my past. Ex boyfriends clubbing vacations I took and so on. Sometimes to the point where he threatens me that he'll find my ex boyfriends.

-I'm not allowed on Facebook instagram twitter actually any social media.

When I talk about maybe taking some time of from each other he'll start crying and sometimes even cutting himself.. (one time he cut his arm and sent a picture of the "blood pool" to me) That really messed me up

I basically don't go out of the house when I do it's to visit family or going to the store. I feel very trapped.

So why don't I leave him? The thought of him hurting himself because of me makes me not want to live. He makes me feel so guilty whem he cries. And I always seem to fall for the crying cause what if he died how would I live with myself. Yesterday I finally told him it was over. But guess what he ended up in the hospital and called me crying so I told him once again that I would think about it.

I really need advice maybe even professional help. I don't really know what to do. Or how to handle this.

From your description, Sarah, your boyfriend is a classic Borderline Personality Disorder, part of the Cluster B Disorders that are not "fixable" and will make your life a living hell if you continue with him.

These types are in the same category as sociopaths, and as such can become quite demanding, controlling,  irrational and ultimately dangerous to even murder or suicide.

Here is some info on these disordered cases:

My advice? Life is short - find a mentally healthy person to walk through it with by getting counseling as to WHY you are attracted to this type of needy and emotionally unstable personality and then FIX IT so you can live a happy and good life unhindered by someone who can never return your love properly.  

But, the choice is up to you.....

Abusive Relationships

All Answers

Answers by Expert:

Ask Experts


Sonya Snyder


All answers pertaining to surviving and leaving abusive relationships


Was a victim of domestic violence and abuse, and studied to get my MA in forensic psychology to understand the abnormal mind of serial abusers. Much abuse isn't physical, and though it can be the most damaging long term - the emotional abuse is rarely understood nor dealt with by our court and legal systems, leaving victims feeling trapped and unsupported. I will give back to others what I have learned as a successfully surviving and thriving veteran of both family and domestic abuse, so they can get out, heal, and live truly free, too.

BA Journalism, soon-to-be completed MA in Forensic Psychology

©2017 All rights reserved.