Abusive Relationships/Slanderous ex
I broke up with a guy who was abusive. In the beginning he was very nice. Our relationship was like a fairy tale.
Over time he became more and more abusive toward me. He would accuse me of being unfaithful. He would go out drinking and when he came home in the early morning I would wake up to him yelling abuse in my face, he would trash the house; punching holes in doors, leaving knives sticking out of the kitchen door (for me to find when I came home from work. The abusive behavior and my stress from it became so bad that I had a miscarriage.
We are separated now but still have a bit of contact.
He emailed me at 3am today and told me to enjoy the rest of my life because everyone knows what I'm like. Only hours before that he had emailed me telling me how proud he was of me for raising money for charity with my photo exhibition/sale. Yet again I was starting to feel hope that things were getting better.
I'm not sure what to do. I'm worried that he set out to destroy me by being two faced. As of yet I haven't told anyone what he has been like. I'm starting to feel the need to put my side of the story across but I'm worried it will backfire and things will get much worse. He knows people who do things for money and aren't afraid to go to prison. I'm scared that he's going to ruin my life. I mean him no harm I just want an end to all the trouble and to be able to focus on my life. I'm currently unemployed (I had a full time job as an optical dispenser before). My self-esteem has eroded over the past year and I'm afraid to even be friends with other men (I feel like I'm being promiscuous). I feel like a nervous wreck whenever he gets nasty. When I hear a bang or thud in the hallway of the apartment block I start thinking that he's out there.
I know that there are people out there who are in much worse situations than myself. I feel very sorry for them and wish I could help. Thank you for your time. It's good to be able to tell someone and hopefully get some advice on how to deal with the situation.
One of the cardinal rules I learned that when an ex has to slander you they're not accepting the reality of someone walking away from them especially if they're abusive. Abusive people are ones you have to really look closely at since their self esteem has already been destroyed and there's nothing you can do about your ex's behavior. What you can do is tell your friends what really happened so if he decides to try and use your friends as ammo to get at you they'll already be well informed as to what was said and they will likely not believe you and if someone buys what your ex is saying then they're not a friend your true friends know your character and won't allow someone to dismiss you like that.