Abusive Relationships/hurt and betrayed


Hi there,
first of all thank you for reading my question.
so basically i met my partner 3 years ago. This is when it all started (the lying). I was 22 years old when i met him and he told me he was 37 years old! anyway 6 months later i found out he was in fact 47 years old!
From the start of our relationship he was messaging other girls on the internet and on dating websites and strip camera websites.
Anyway in the month of June 2012 i found out i was pregnant and had our beautiful daughter in march 2013.
After having my daughter i found out he had a fake Facebook account where he was messaging his exs to meet up and using a dating website. I found out he made the fake account when i was 20 weeks pregnant! That seriously broke me as a person! still hurts me to write this how a father to be can be so heartless.
So i confronted him and he got very defensive and even lied and said the dating website wasn't his (bullshit) i logged in to it!
I wanted him to leave our home but he wouldn't! he even kept throwing water on me and grabbed me until i would listen, So needless to say i listened and he is still here!
Obviously it hurts me and he knows i don't trust him and i keep asking how he could do something like that to me and his response is..."are you still going on about 2013!!!"
I don't trust him at all! from the start he has been a liar. im scared to be a single parent.
is it best that this relationship ends? i cant stop thinking of what he did.
Thanks again for reading.

Hi Emma,

Thank you for writing and getting some ideas of what to do. Your question of is it best for this relationship to end and the answer is, do you want to live like this for the rest of your life?  Healthy relationships embrace trust with both people being open and honest with each other. As much as you want him to be different, he will most likely NEVER change. His pattern of lying and meeting up with other girls will most likely continue.  So, you will have to decide how you want to live the rest of your life.

Also, identifying your fear is important so that you can address this issue to move forward. Your fear of being a single parent may be keeping you attached to this unhealthy situation. Seeing a professional counselor can help you create a plan to take control of your life to address this fear so you can live a happier and healthier life with your daughter.

There are women’s organizations that may be able to help you with resources and living arrangements. Call your court house or this number for more information in the UK:

National Domestic Violence Freephone Helpline run by Women's Aid and Refuge on 0808 2000 247 (24 hours a day) for advice, support and to get a refuge place.

Reaching out for help is in your control as well as moving forward to create a happier life.  You have been hurt and betrayed and taking the proper steps will provide you with the life you are seeking. Please keep asking questions as you go along--you and your daughter deserve the very best in life and you have the power to make that happen!

Much peace to you,

Coach Cathy,
Cathy Backlund, Life Coach, Specializing in Abusive Relationships and Domestic Violence Education  

Abusive Relationships

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Cathy Backlund, Life Coach in Abuse & Domestic Violence


Are you unsure if you are living in an abusive relationship? Are you feeling confused, angry or hurt and don't know what to do? I can help you determine if you are in an abusive or unhealthy relationship and provide suggestions on how to create a plan for your happiness, health and well-being! Please ask questions to find out answers today! Everyone deserves to live life with happiness and joy, and I am here to help you. Are you ready to find out how you can live a better and happier life? If you are, please ask your questions today!! Asking and finding the answers you are looking for is the first step to improve you joy and happiness!


I am a Certified Life Coach Specializing in Prevention and Education of Domestic Abuse and Violence.

•SPARCC (Safe Place And Rape Crisis Center), Sarasota, FL •CAT (Sarasota Violence Prevention Community Action Team) •Washington State Coalition Against Domestic Violence •Guardian Ad Litem 12th Judicial Circuit of Florida

Please visit my webpage for more information and articles about abusive relationships and domestic violence at www.LifeCoachCathy.com or www.DomesticViolence-Education.com. I am here with you, while you find answers that help you!

•B.S. from Evergreen State College, Olympia, WA •Core Competency Course from the Shelter for Abused Women and Children, Naples, FL •Life Coach Training from Changepoint Coaching & Consulting Association •Advanced Training from The Institute for Relational Harm Reduction & Public Pathology •Sexual Violence Core Training from Florida Council Against Sexual Violence •High Risk Domestic Violence Training by Lundy Bancroft and Sarasota Police Dept, FL •Court Assistance Training from SPARCC (Safe Place and Rape Crisis Center, Sarasota, FL •Principles of Prevention by The Centers of Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) •Guardian Ad Litem 12th Judicial Circuit of Florida

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