Abusive Relationships/push


Me and my boyfriend of 2 years got into an fight, and just wondering if it would be abuse or not. It was late and we both needed sleep, we got into it about him looking at something I did not like. I tried talking to him about it and he just ignored me, so I went over beside him and he still ignored me. I started to get upset, so I started pulling his pc powercord out of his pc. He kept turning it back on, and I kept pulling the plug. This went on about 6 times until he got upset with me and pushed me away from him. I was not hurt but shocked. Afterwards he just got up and left. We have had our fair amounts of fights, and the only times he pushes is when I wont stop grabbing his stuff away from him. He tries to tell me to stop many times, but I usually don't. He does say it is his fault for doing it. We really do not want to end the relationship. Could you please give your advice?

Dear Stephanie,
My advice would be to stop grabbing his stuff away from him.  If he is being frustrated to the point where he has to push you away in order to get you to stop behaving inappropriately towards him, that should take care of the problem.

This does not sound like abuse, it sounds like frustration.  The two of you need to find ways to communicate better.  Perhaps deciding when a good time to talk about how to communicate would be a good first step.  If he is looking at things that you don't like, discussing with him why you don't like it and helping him to understand what is offensive about it would be helpful.

If he ignores your objections, then you have to decide whether you want to be with someone who disregards your wishes like that.  When we are in relationships, we can bring up problems, discuss them and try to compromise on a solution, but if our partner is not willing to do any of those things, then the decision reverts back to us as to whether we want to stay in a relationship where we are disrespected.

I hope that answers your question.  If there is anything further I may assist you with, please feel free to contact me again.  

Abusive Relationships

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Kriss Mitchell, M.Ed, CRC, CNHP


I can answer questions regarding emotional and physical abuse in dating and marriage situations, however I am unable to give legal advice. Having had firsthand experience in an abusive relationship, I understand the feelings, the questions and the doubts we have as we try to make decisions about how to improve our situations. I am also able to address spiritual concerns regarding staying in or leaving these types of situations.


Having been a victim of emotional abuse for many years and having family members who were in violent abuse situations, I have personal experience on many levels. I have since gone on to become a professional counselor and work with abused women.

American Mental Health Counselors Assn., American Association of Christian Counselors, International Association of Prayer Counselors

I currently maintain a blog at www.livingwellcc.blogspot.com. I also have links and currently written articles on my website at www.livingwellcc.com. You can also follow me on TWITTER @livingwellcc, or on facebook at Living Well Counseling and Consulting. My writings have appeared in The Good News Northwest and the North Idaho Business Journal

Licensed Professional Counselor, Board Certified Professional Christian Counselor, Certified Rehabilitation Counselor, Certified Natural Health Professional

Awards and Honors
Board Certified Christian Counselor

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