Abusive Relationships/Emotional Abuse
Good Morning, my name is Susan, I am 50 years old in a very abusive relationship. My husband has an a-typical personality disorder with bi-polar. He also has epilepsy due to a past head injury. He is alcoholic and is on sedatives. His biggest problem is that the whole world should revolve around him and nobody else matters, he is self destructive, verbally violent, and expects to be catered to. He works, but other then that he does nothing but eat, drink and sleep, he always takes naps, 3-4 hours on top of sleeping 8-10 hours at night. He throws temper tantrums, like last night we were outside a a hotel (his job is a traveling job) and he started throwing a tantrum about religion and how he is above everybody, then his friend came outside and I told him to tell his friend about it. It was my fault for saying anything in front of his friend and so he blasted music, threw food on the floor, threw away my hair conditioner, trashed the bathroom and kept making fun of people on tv, yelling. This type of thing happens often. Anyways, what I am afraid of is when I leave, first his father is not in good health and I hate to do that to him. But the bigger issue is that I am diabetic, I no longer have a car to get a job, we are in Florida and my home is in Ohio. There is really no extra money to get me through till I could get things together as far as a job or health insurance. Also with the diabetes and this has not been good on my sugar or my general health. I could not even say there is one thing I would miss about him if I left (my mother asked me to do that).When I am with him I do not sleep well, but if I am home visiting I sleep through the night fine. There are no happy days, I am so happy if one of his work friends come by because he is nice when somebody else is around. Anything you could tell me, or suggestions for help that may be available would be appreciated.
Thank you, Susan
Divorce is difficult. This is one of the reasons why couples all over the world choose to stay in unhealthy or unfulfilling marriages, despite an inner voice urging them to leave. Rather than heed this internal guidance, people seek out or invent reasons to justify remaining.
Many float through life in a perpetual state of confusion or ambivalence because things are not so awful. Being confused, they can’t possibly be asked to make a decision so they rationalize staying with their spouse, waiting for something to happen which will make it clearer as to whether they should keep the relationship together or not.
For others, the fear of the unknown is simply too daunting so they numb out or get distracted to make life with their partner bearable (for example, by workaholism, drug/alcohol addiction, and spending excessively). In some cases, the fear of leaving is not about the unknown, rather it is the known that paralyzes them. The other spouse has threatened the one who wants to leave with some kind of abuse: “outing a secret,” bad-mouthing him or her to friends, loved ones, or employers, or even physical violence. Then there is the segment of this unhappy population who choose to have an affair (in real life or, more and more, in cyberspace) as a way of escaping or even ;also read here
time to ove on when it was clear there was nothing left to salvage.