AboutAzure Expertise can answer all relationship questions involving unhealthy, addictive, or otherwise unhappy arrangements, except those involving the legalities of physical abuse..
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Question I am 19 and my bf is 22. We have been together for over a year and living together for five months at my mom's house. He has always been the jealous type but lately has gotten really possessive, controlling, and jealous. he constantly accuses me of cheating. I attend college and work part time. If I'm just a few minutes late from school or work, its because I'm *ucking around. I have to be on the phone with him while I'm walking to my classes so I don't talk to anyone else.
We went to the mall the other day and he got really angry because he said I smiled at some guy that walked by me. I have no idea what he was talking about. That same evening we started playing around wrestling like we do often. But this time was different, he was playing really ROUGH. He put his hands around my neck and I was gasping for air. Then he grabbed me by head and shoved me face down on the carpet. He left bruises on my ribs and arms where he grabbed me. When I told him to stop, he said that he was just playing around. But I saw that look in his eyes-- i think he was still angry because of the imagined mall incident.
We share a phone plan (in his name) and last night my friends called just to say hi. He got really angry because they called and said that I needed to change my number. He told me to expect a new number today (the phone is in his name, he can do whatever, right?) Even though I pay my half of the bill.
Friday I had basketball practice and after I arrived home I was changing out of my clothes and he was in the room. Well he started accusing me of cheating because he said my panties were all wet. Hello? I had just come out of a 2 hour practice. Girls do sweat.
I love him very much but I don't know how much more I can take. He promises to change and he does for a few days and then it's right back to where we started. I just don't understand how I can love someone who treats me like this. Can he ever change?
Answer it's because it's not real love, more dependence/addiction; if you stepped out of this and viewed it objectively as i/others can do, you'd realize you're with an abusive, possessive, controlling jerk; this will only get worse; if you have ANY concern for your well-being or future, you will thow this guy out of your house and life and never speak to him again..if you won't, get counseling to find out why..
