Expert: David Simonsen - 11/13/2007

Question
I have been married for 30 years. Up until this year I have been working since I was 14 years. I have had three children with this man that verbally abuses me. I have not worked for a year because he wanted me to stop. He couldnt get a hold of me when he needed me. I was an activities director for a  senior living community. so I stop working here is my problem I have been physically abused and hurt by this man. I did tell on him and he went to jail for 5 years. well i got talked into another relationship with him and he has only hit me once since 2003. I have no money I am 46 years old and my kids are bearly making it and my parents are no longer alive. I feel that I am stuck here and there is no help for me or is there? I am tired of hearing what a animal I am. I dont even feel like a woman. I cannot get on the bed until he has gotten in it. There are days when I have to lay  on the couch and sleep because he has not come home. The shelters are full and i am waiting for a bed on a years waiting list. I just want to lay down and die. He recently got in trouble for road rage and came home lifted his had and caught himself as I laid on the floor with my hands to my face. I know you cannot do anything, because this is what I get from counselors that i talk to they say leave him, okay where do I go? in the streets, i cant do that. So I stay like a volunteer hostage, waiting to be rescued. Please dont feel sorry for me I am just looking for answers

Answer
E,
Call the police next time abuse happens. You can get an order of protection and then he is out of the home. Then you have a place to stay without him there. I would also suggest you start working again. I would also start taking things out your his name. If you own anything together I would either take your name off of it or his name off of it. Then financially you can't be help responsible for his things.
David