Expert: james52144@earthlink.net - 1/20/2007

Question
What can I do to get my boyfriend to stop doing the disappearing act? He chooses to drink. he does this fairly often. No note, no message and will not answer his phone. I was at a meeting last Tues evening and came home, the lights were on the TV on, no boyfriend, no note, no message. He turned up hours later plastered. I kicked him out again. He will do good for a while. This time it was about a month. I cannot take it. I do not know what to do. Any input would be appreciated. Especially from a mans point of view. I have tried to be understanding with him. Compassionate, and now ticked off. HELP

Answer
Dear Lisa

Sounds like your boyfriend is more boy than friend. The question is how patient are you to wait until he starts showing signs of growing up? The problem is that alcoholics do not grow up until they get sober. Just do both of you a favor and break up with him. There are a lot of great guys out there waiting to meet you. There is no reason I know of to go down with his ship.

Good luck