AboutDavid Simonsen Expertise I can answer questions directly related to your challenging relationships. I will give you a straight forward answer to what I think the problem is.
Experience I have the experience needed to help you sort out how to work through your relationship. I meet weekly with people who have challenging relationships so let me help you!
Organizations AAMFT;AACC
Education/Credentials B.A. M.S. Marriage & Family Therapy
Question Hi, I have a friend who has been in an abusive relationship on and off for about 9 years. He is abusive to the point of almost killing her multiple times. She is too afraid to press charges, and constantly feels bad if she lets him stay out on the street. Just a few weeks ago i spent 6 hours in the car with her bringing him to a court date for not paying child support yet again. She got him a hotel and dumped his stuff there while he was in court. She saw this as her only option to break free without being smacked around. Of course he found a way back into town, and after a week of me being by her side reassuring her that she should not let him back in, he has weaseled his way back in. She admits to being happier without him but cannot say no when he is crying about being cold and lonely and homeless.
I don't know what to do, since the day he was let back in, last thursday, she has not talked to me. She lives 2 apartments down, she wont look at me, avoids me, wont take my calls or return my emails. We were very close and her last message to me was telling me of his return and that she would call me. I feel she is in danger but i don't know what to do. I know he is capable of killing her and don't doubt that he would if she angered him, especially while he is drinking or on drugs he has stolen.
How do i reach her? How can i get her help, i can't watch my friend deteriorate living with him or even worse be killed.
Answer Lindsey,
You can't do anything. If you haven't seen that by now you need to take the blinders off. If you stay involved it is most likely that any violence that happens will be directed towards you. This is something that your friend is choosing. If there are children, then those are the ones you should be focusing on. Make reports to CPS. The kids can be taken and put somewhere safe.
David
