Expert: Azure - 3/20/2006

Question
The first one (also the only one in which I confronted her): She told me she was going to hang out with a friend from college for the weekend, but in reality, she made plans to go to a show with her Ex. I confronted her before this took place.

Yesterday, she said she had to bring her friend to the airport. There were last minute flight changes (switched to a flight an hour earlier), who knows what she was doing?

Other lies include but are not limited to: Flattering things people say ("So and So said, that you are very good for me."), Work events and conversations, and pretty much everything she says is exagerated, as I'm finding out. Although I just recently started picking up her habits when she lies. She gets very excited and goes into long detailed (but unnecessary) descriptions.

I know what's best for me in this relationship...  walk away! But what should I do to help her?  

Answer
no need to resend; the key is to attempt to understand WHY she's lieing; as an example re the "ex", is she romantically interested in him, or is it something she felt was okay to do but didn't feel she could tell you and get your understanding?..many times people lie because they fear irrational reactions to the truth; that brings YOU into the equation; you need to have an open, honest discussion with her, without blaming, to see if she can trust you enough to reveal her real fears as to telling the truth; all she has to go on presently, is that you went berzerko last time she lied; your best bet is to try and regain her confidence that you will try to understand the "why" part of her behavior; once the truth AND reasons for the deceit are revealed, you can decide how to proceed, but you can only get to that info by eliminating her fears...