Expert: Azure - 3/17/2006

Question
Hello I am a 23 year old Girl and have been with a 35 year old man for about 5 month's. We have alot of fun together. But there are somethings in this relationship that I am not 100% sure on and that is his '' JEALOUSY '' DRINKING '' THREATS''
I know it sounds bad from this but it is not always like that. Please tell me when a man gets older they become more tight with a younger girl such as they are very jealous and they will become aggressive. Ben can be great but he can throw threats at me like { IF YOU PISS ME OFF THEN YOU WILL GET IT TRSUT ME) OR LIKE YOU WILL GO OUT WHEN I SAY YOU CAN GO OUT TILL THEN DONT ASK] He said to me that he can be very aggressive and mean if we wants to be. But I don't see it in him at all he has never hit me or even tried well he did put his hand on my throat but he said he was joking.. He drinks way to much it is bad.. Am I in a big prob should I stay or sould I end this now.? I dont know what to do because I can say that I have fallen in love with him But I dont want to get hurt I live on my own and have been for a long time and he know's that he has been at my house but I dont know what to do. Some people at work say that he is CRAZY OR NICE.. His friends say the same to me his other friend she told me that he is very old school and it is his way or the HWY. We were just joking around in my truck and I called him an ass-hole (just joking) and he gave me this look of death he said what did you call me I said nothing lol he said no you called me an ass-hole I said just joking ben!! He said you better never ever say that again because you will have a sore eye. I guess he said i'll hit you. But he always just say's things like that he never dose anything. Ok here is one we all went out to a club one night and I ran in to an hight school friend Graham. We were talking about life and how he was and I. Then he had to go and one of Ben's friends went up to him and stared like why are you talking to her things like that just saying you are not alowed to talk to her I did not know this till the end of the night. We are sleeping together we have been condoms but he wanted me to go on the pill I did not for the longest time But I did and now we are sleeping together with out a condom.Is that telling him I am his girl 4 ever or is he crazy or should I just walk away? I did not see any of this anger before but now I am seeing it in his eyes. He has this look to him at times and is can be wow like man i was just joking.. He always say's you will fuck up christine and i'll just have to put you in your place just like that. What the hell do i do. He is not always like this but he can be mean with words.. I know he watches  all the time and he looks for things to get at me for. I tell him to come with my friend and we all can dance together at a new club and he always say's no but If I ever do come to see you and you are dancing with someone elce then you dont want to see what I'll do. I dont know is it true whjen a man gets older they become aggressine and very jealous please tell me

Christine

Answer
it's got nothing to do with age; let's see, "jealousy, drinking, threats.." sounds like every woman's dream; and it's acceptable because he's "not always like that.."??..murderers don't murder all the time either; the guy has numerous issues--a control freak that has an alcohol problem is a deadly combination, and he'll only get worse; you can live in anxious fear of real harm while he runs your life, or you can get out now while you hopefully still can...take your pick..