About Hilary Expertise I was married very young to my high school sweetheart, which turned out to be a very abusive relationship, after marriage. I know how an abusive relationship can kill your spirit, cause depression, ruin your self esteem and self worth and make you feel helpless. I learned to be strong and how to get out of an abusive relationship and to learn to love yourself once again.
Question I am married since two year. At the begining stage our relationship was quite comfortable. But then later i started looking only negative side.., it turned to a very abusive relationship. Really it is killing me. I think i am helpless now.I become a short tempered
girl. I get angry often now. He started hating me. Please help me. How to change my attitude? please help me...:(
Answer Hi Sudha! I am so sorry for your troubles. When there is an attitude change in a relationship, there is usually a reason for it. Why has your attitude changed? In a relationship, it is never one person's fault. You are 100% responsible for this relationship, and he is 100% responsible for this relationship. That should be 200% going into this relationship. When you say it has become a very abusive relationship. What do you mean by this? Physically abusive, mentally abusive, emotionally abusive? Who is starting the abuse?
If your attitude has changed, you must not be happy. You need to figure out what will make you happy. Counceling and marriage counceling is always a good thing to do, as it really helps to sort out some problems, and even underlying problems you may not even know exists. Maybe it's not only your atittude that needs changing....maybe something that he's doing/not doing needs to change. It's normal to become angry when things upset us. Don't completely blame yourself for any marital problems. There are 2 people in this relationship, so 2 people need to work on it. Don't take full responsibility for the way you react to things, as you are simply reacting. If you feel as though there is nothing that he is doing/not doing that is causing you to react this way, talking to a councelor may help you understand why you feel angry alot. If he is causing you to react this way, then marriage counceling would be an excellent way to help you both.
Have you tried talking to your husband about it? Maybe sitting down with him and talking to him about how you feel will help. I am sure he doesn't hate you, and he should know that you are thinking that he does. Communication is the key to any healthy and happy relationship. You have to let him know how you're feeling. I hope this helps and best of luck!
Hilary
