Expert: Azure - 9/16/2007

Question
I have been in a typical abusive relationship for 6 years. (verbally/mentally)...
I am done feeling stuck everyday of my life. Being depressed everytime I see
his name on caller I.D. to seeing him get out of the car. What will go wrong
THIS TIME????
I don't ever have long stretches of time=maybe a week, where I'll feel like
uncoiling from an unhappy, stagnant woman to STARTING to clear out my
chest, and see some light....
As I've been reading, a typical abuser will sweep you off your feet....until
about 3 mths. and then start his cycle of attack.... and I'm sorry. I'm tired of
feeling like this. We don't live together thank god, because it wouldn't work,
and until recently I had more money than him. I don't want my nine year old
daughter to think it's okay for a man to talk/yell at you like he does to
me....and sometimes to her. I looked back at all my emails from the past six
years and it's a joke. Every email from him is putting me down, calling me
names, turning things that he did upside down, as if I did them!
My emails to him keep saying that "I can't take it anymore....my heart is
crying... let's just end this..." He somehow get's me to believe it will be better.
Bottom line, I need to COMPLETELY break up with him. I avoid it because I'm
not strong. I don't have a support system..(he's made sure of that)...He and I
are BOTH prominent in our city. He came over the other night out of the clear
blue sky, while I was sleeping. I let him in and kept saying and crying "I can't
do this anymore"... The next day he emails me to ask if I want to come to his
new condo to help decorate.?? Evading a very important issue.I have only
communicated through emails, and told him we needed to figure out how we
could get through this so we're both okay. And I just said "I've been too hurt,
for too long."
How do I go on with no friends. I work, or lately DON'T work from my home,
so I'm not around people

Answer
"no friends" is the least of your problems--you need to get out, and the only way is to sever all communication; if you don't it will only get worse; it's better to pick up the pieces and try to begin a new life, than to die miserable in this one...get counseling to help you if necessary..make a plan, then act on it; hopefully you have some person you know help you; don't talk to him, except to write 1 final time to say  it's over--if he harasses you, call the police..