Expert: james52144@earthlink.net - 9/11/2006

Question
I wanted to know if statistics show that if children grow up in an abusive home that they meaning the females will grow up to marry the same type of person?

Answer
Dear Stephanie

I am the victim of an abusive childhood and my experience is that many of my character traits and personality aspects were born in the abuse I suffered as a child. Some of the traits and aspects were positive, many are negative. Many things can change this, an emotionally healthy friend, grandparents, other family. I am not aware of any accurate survey of this, however in my practice I will say that most people with relationship problems model the behavior of their parents. So the chances that a person will marry someone that reminds them of the parent they have the most issues with are high.