Expert: David Simonsen - 10/24/2007

Question
i have been with this guy for about a year and a half when we first met everything was good except when i found out that i was pregnant with my exboyfriends baby. well when i told him he was totally ok with it and still is but he had to deal with my whole pregnancy and i was moody. He went from a complete perfect nice guy to someone i didn't know. He would never call me names get really angry at me or raise his voice at me. He never even layed a finger on me. Now everything changed and he seems so mad all the time. Everything that happens always seems to be my fault to. Even if i ask him a question he seems to snap out. but when he isn't like that he is the best guy in the world he gives me kisses everyone, holds me close to him, tells me he loves me, tells me he wants to be with me forever, and he loves being intimate. I don't know what to do to help him out about his anger. He can be perfectly happy one minute and then if something doesn't go his way or i ask the wrong question he gets mad. he has even pushed me called me horrible names or grabbed me by the arms and shaken me, we have broken up several times and then gotten back together but our breakups have never lasted more than one week. i love him with all my heart and i want to stay with him, i just want his anger to go away and for him to be happy and want to go out like he use to. he has never hit me or left me marks on my body but he does damage alot emotionally. i don't want him to hurt me and upset me because he gets mad. i know he wont get help but what is something i can do to try and improve this problem? thank you for having the time to read this and helping me out

Answer
Mayela,
This is a sad situation, it seems you have come to the conclusion that you can't leave this situation. I would if I were you. Do you really want to raise a child in this abusive situation? You can't change him and more likely than not he will cheat on you or leave you. If he truly loved you like you think he does why not make a commitment of marriage to you so this child isn't born without a father. I worry that you are being setup for a fall. My suggestion is that you start focusing on your child and what is best for it. I would say that what is best is adoption or you moving in with relatives that can help you take care of it. Your child does not need the drama of your love life. It needs a mom and dad who are committed to one another and to the idea of raising it together.
David
www.help4life.net