Expert: David Simonsen - 12/4/2007

Question
My boyfriend is in jail because i called the cops on him one night. I wanted to see him suffer and b put away. We had met 4 yrs ago, had a friendship, moved in together, had a child. All during this time he would lie and drink, end up in jail and never gain employment. I know in my heart i have to stay away from him but i find myself playing the games he does and resulting to his antics. I really feel as if when he isin jail that i live him and miss him and want to be with him again. My family is fed up with me and my friends all think im nuts for having these thoughts, I find that if im not with him and everything is going well, i feel out of place. How can i get out of the cycle im in and not become abusive myself?

Answer
Caroline,
So what crazy voice in your heart is telling you to stay with him? I would stop listening to that voice it is not letting you make good decisions. You need to move back in with your family and seek counseling. You yourself can't do this. You need to reach out for help from others and leave this abuse behind. If you are unwilling to do it then you need to give custody of your child over to your parents. If you are going to be foolish and stay in this relationship it is your choice. You are being a poor mother if you force your child to stay in this situation because they have no choice.
David
www.help4life.net