Expert: David Simonsen - 12/18/2007

Question
I am about to get a divorce (in Jan) to a man that is extremely emotionally abusive to me.  We have a two year old child and he doesn't realize how much this abuse affects me which in turn affects him.  For instance this weekend he sent me 15 text messages calling me a butterball turkey, talking about how ugly and stupid I am, about how bad sexually I am.  Then he went on to talk about how the girls he has been with when we were together were so great in bed and left details.  I am devistated.  I am 30 and he was my high school sweetheart.  I can't believe that he could be so hurtful.  I think about the things he says all day long.  Believe me, this isn't the first time.  I have seen a psychiatrist for a year and been on a lot of different antidepressents which don't seem to be helping.  My question is, I have been thinking about destroying our photos and wedding dvd(which he already dropped off with me).  Do you think I will regret this?  I feel like I need some type of closure..  Any suggestions?

Answer
Jen,
You could destroy those things, but i assume there are more memories on those things than just him and you. Maybe relatives etc.. What you could do is relocate all those items to a parents home or friends home. Then when you are emotionally able to make a reasonable decision decide if you should destroy them or not. Just because this guy is being a jerk doesn't mean all those memories have to be seen as bad. I think once you deal with the emotion effectively then you can make the decision of what to do with those items.
David
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