Expert: james52144@earthlink.net - 6/5/2007

Question
I have to make this short and as complete as i can for fear i will be caught writing this. i think i am in an emotionally abusive relationship. i try so hard to leave but i always come back. always. sometimes he will threaten suicide, i believe to keep me from going. he will tell me how horrible i am for wanting to leave. i believe he trys to keep me from talking to my sister he says we are "scandalous" when we are together and will always question me when her and i go out. when i go to family functions he always questions "who was there" or did my sister bring any guys. he constantly brings up the past and makes me feel guilty even though he has cheated on me several times. he always questions who I've called. he checks my voicemails and dialed and recieved calls. he makes me check my myspace in front of him. he makes remarks of my clothing. [[he caught me writing this...i refused to let him read it and he tells me that i must be lying about what i say cause i wont let him read it.]] everyday he asks if i have talked to guys or if guys have emailed me or called me. its so frustrating because everyday no is my answer and thats the truth. i cant have any friends. he has never liked any of my friends. he is not allowed around my family and he blames me for them not liking him and accuses me of seeing someone else at my family gatherings and thats why he cant come. he has busted my window in my car [[while i was in it]] because a male co worker and i were sitting in my car waiting for a mutual female friend. [[she was meeting me to hang out and he was meeting her to give her a paper for school]]. he shows up at my work and bust my window and tells me i am deceitful and unfaithful because of this. he argues with me every single day. i can no longer go on with this unhappiness. am i in a bad relationship? how can i get out. i want to get out but then again i don't. i don't understand?? help me please I'm becoming quit depressed.

Answer
Dear Chelsea

To be blunt, you are in a terribly abusive relationship and you need to leave. To leave, you simply pack your things and move out. You do not have to believe what he tells you and ignore his attempts to make you feel guilty. It sounds like you may have some maturity issues and this may be your opportunity to start acting like a mature adult.