Expert: james52144@earthlink.net - 12/19/2006

Question
i have been with my boyfriend for 4 yrs, we bought a house together about a year ago and thats when things turned upside down, he tells me i am a consided bitch, that i have nothing going for me, that i sit on my ass all say long, mind u i am a nanny for 3 kids, and he thinks that job is so easy, he doesn't want me to work as a nanny he wants me to do something else in life, he has pinned me against the wall swearing in my face calling me names, last week he took my hand and twisted it till my finger broke, i swore that i was going t leave him, i left for 4 days then went back, he tells me he loves me over and over again. i want to get out but the other half of me tells me to stay, i have been lying to my friends and family telling them that i am finished with the relationship and we are not living together anymore, but we are, i need help! i sit home and cry all the time, i did find an apartment to move to but i am not sure if i am doing the right thing. please hlep me for i need to know what to do, pluse its the holidays,  part of me tells me to stay and the other half of me tells me to go, i have no idea what to do HELP

Answer
Dear Angela

It is fairly obvious that he does not love you in a healthy way. When he was violent and hurt you a healthy person would have walked out and not looked back. I think you need to get out ASAP and go seek counseling for the abuse he committed to you.