Expert: David Simonsen - 10/13/2007

Question
My husband is an alcoholic.  He goes out to the bars every single night.  I have 4 children ages 10, 8, 5 and 21 months.  He is always talking down to me.  For example he was sitting outside with his friends drinking, I was in the house with the kids, one of whom had the stomach flu.  When I went to the door and said Jim, come here for a minute, he replied what do you want, you come here.  I said I need you to come here.  Well after he comes in with a hissy fit, he then says to me, all you would have to say was please, would that have been so hard.  He treats me with belittlement, like I am a child not his wife.  I get angry when he treats me this way.  He then says who were you talking to that got you like this and checks the phone to see who called me like my sister or neighbor, he hates them both and thinks that they are responsible for my anger, not him.  What should I do?  I can't live like this, and I am confused and scared about what I should do. Help.

Answer
Anita,
STOP having children with him. It is not fair to your children to bring them into a hopeless situation like this. I would then encourage you to move in with a family or friend until he is willing to get help with his alcoholism. You can't do anything to change him you can ONLY protect yourself. If you refuse to do this then not only you suffer, but your children suffer.
David
www.help4life.net