Expert: Azure - 12/22/2006

Question
Hello.  I am a recent newlywed, we've been married two months.  
I am 27 and my husband 22, so perhaps that answers my question for me, but I would really love some advice.  
When my husband and I got married I moved in with him, and am starting classes in Jan for my masters degree.  I will have a job beggening also in Jan in which my (or OUR) income will increase substantially.  My husband was wonderful the first month of marriage-- we've been together almost 2 years and he's always been consistant in his behavior towards me, gentle, caring, understanding- but recently he's become violent, posessive, and has been using emotional blackmail.  He gets upset if I go out with my friends (if I spend time with my friends at all) asking me why I want to spend time away from him.... he becomes angry when I get dressed up... he becomes VERY angry when I try to have any type of intillectual conversation with him, and this is in fact when he usually becomes violent, to the point in which I won't even have conversations with him anymore.  Today however was unique in that we bought a printer and were setting it up.  He thought that because th printer had faxing capabilities we would be able to fax documents... I told him that we needed aa active  phone line for that ( we only have a DSL)and he didn't believe me, so I pointed it out to him in the instructions... and I swear I wasn't being rude or condescending, I just wanted him to believe me.  Well he became very upset and grabbed me by my throat and began to twist the skin and choke me, he let go, and later apologized, but in his apology he stated he didn't mean to hurt me
??????
How could someone do that and NOT expect it to hurt?
he keeps apologizing, and acting sorry for himself, but I'm a little ticked.  At myself and him
myself for accepting the apology.

I need some advice.  I told him if he EVER laid a hand on me , growled at me , pretended he was going to hit me or threaten me again (these are all things he does when he becomes upset) that I would leave him... but it's only been about 10 hours so of course he hasn't had a chance to do it again.  
I need some advice,
he's never in the two years we've been together acted this way...
could he simply be stressed about money and the holidays and (due to his age) too immature to see that he can't act out like a 10 year old and kick his friend in the shin and call him a poopy face, whenever he feels a little threatened.

or is he simply becoming abusive?
just need some words of wisdom

Thank you
L  

Answer
in my opinion, with that type of assault, (not to mention his previous abusive patterns), there's no second chance; i would have left hours ago; he, for whatever reason, has become possessive, controlling, has  anger management issues, and is in need of immediate therapy; (remember O.J.?)..the wisdom is this will never be the same, as you will never trust him sufficiently (nor should you) to be with him; the apologies mean nothing; call the attorney in the morning and start packing..