You are here:

Abusive Relationships/Questions Answered by Expert Dr.Sunu Sundar

SubjectDate Asked
plz help me1/8/2012
  Q: I'm a Punjabi im in love with my mother's father's sister's daughter and she loves me too......and ...
  A: Balwant, This mater needs deep discussion before any guidance.I suggest you to write to me in ...
PDD and porn10/25/2011
  Q: You are just what I need right now. I do need a Biblical point of view as well as advice. Your being ...
  A: I have a lot to say and explain to you about this problem of your daughter.However the mode of ...
Lost and hurt and confused10/19/2011
  Q: Ten months ago, someone came into my life. He appeared a few times, before I even noticed him. I ...
  A: Michelle, I am happy to guide you towards truth and reality of human mind and relationship. I do ...
abusive boyfriend10/15/2011
  Q: i had been in relationship with an abusive guy for 7 years. bt last week i lied to him that my ...
  A: Congrats that you have made the right decision to get away from this relationship.You must, by all ...
hi cud u advice me i m sending u my story.9/28/2011
  Q: I have a long story Hi I am a 30 yr old single woman. I have been in a relationship off and on for ...
  A: Greetings and peace to you. I understand your problem.In my limited understanding I suggest you ...
prostitute?9/19/2011
  Q: "Dear friend: From Venezuela, I am a 48 years old married, retired firefighter with two ...
  A: I suggest you not to engage in any form of communication with this lady.I suggest you with all ...
I'm stuck with crazy ex-bf9/9/2011
  Q: ok, i will go straight to the point, ive been in a relationship nearly a year with this guy, at ...
  A: Indeed it is a critical situation. I need to know more about you for in-depth guidance.However ...
ayuda8/28/2011
  Q: I am a 48 years old man, retired firefighter, married with two son. I met though facebook a 28 years ...
  A: Greetings and peace to you. Hope this e-mail finds you helty and hay! I understand your problem. ...
Abusive Husband6/29/2011
  Q: I am 28 years old and my husband is 32. We are now married 3 years and known each other for four ...
  A: Greetings and peace to you. If I say you should have been calm and have adjusted, the question ...
Domestic Violence in Marriage4/30/2011
  Q: I've been married for 8 years to my second husband, whom I met online, when I met him he was very ...
  A: Greetings and peace to you! I wonder if it was the right decision to marry this person. ...
URGENT-Should i gve up my second marriage4/25/2011
  Q: this is my second marriage & its about 2 years now.I am going through a hard time adjusting to my ...
  A: Respected SGR, Your detailed answer make it easy to respond to you promptly. Your mail tells me ...
URGENT-Should i gve up my second marriage4/24/2011
  Q: this is my second marriage & its about 2 years now.I am going through a hard time adjusting to my ...
  A: Respected SGR, Happy to read your elaborate e-mail. The vibes of your e-mail confirms that ...
Physical abuse2/27/2011
  Q: I have been with my boyfriend for about 7 years I am 28 and he is 42. I had only one boyfriend ...
  A: Greetings and peace. You shall go for the counselling.However anger management in the longrun is ...
bully laughing and jeering?11/13/2010
  Q: I was violently bullied at the workplace by another coworker. I reported her anonymously and she got ...
  A: IF YOU WISH THAT YOU WANT REAL JUSTICE, THEN YOU MUST KNOCK THE DOORS OF GOD THE ETERNAL JUDGE. ...
bully laughing and jeering?11/12/2010
  Q: I was violently bullied at the workplace by another coworker. I reported her anonymously and she got ...
  A: I understand your scenario.I won't blame you for what you did.Don't feel guilty. ALL YOU MUST ...
Daughter in a difficult relationship9/22/2010
  Q: I have a daughter who will be 19 years old. In December of 09 she met her very FIRST boyfreind. ...
  A: I read your long letter and am happy that it is clear. I am afraid that the girl is going to ...
spouse porn abuse9/20/2010
  Q: I am in a common law relationship, we have 3 young children together, my spouse looks at porn a lot. ...
  A: There are chances of him cheating on you You definitely need to be have an eye on him over your ...
Bf gets mad over tiny things .. what do i do ?? silent treatment !?8/17/2010
  Q: he gets mad all the time ! over the most smallest things. he gets mad at me and switches his phone ...
  A: I understand the scenario.You need not leave him.Try your best to not 'hurt' him any way.In case ...
Crazily in love with a drug addict8/10/2010
  Q: I am in love with a person addicted to cocaine. The moment he does the drug, he has numerous sexual ...
  A: Greetings from Sunu I can understand well the pain of you heart,however as a man, psychologist ...
blame game after breakup7/18/2010
  Q: i m a pakistani girl of 25 years old ......... i had met a guy online who was pakistani as well and ...
  A: Peace be with you. I fully empathize with you. Take this as a lesson.This is the time for you to ...
plz help7/13/2010
  Q: my bf hit me once drunk...because i went out with a "slut" for a party..he was scared i'll turn into ...
  A: I appreciate your love for him.However,as a psychologist who is committed to God's ways, I wish ...
my mother doesn't want to hear about an abusive relationship I recently left6/22/2010
  Q: I posted this question before but the person I picked couldn't answer it for some reason. I know you ...
  A: Greetings and peace be with you. I understand you need love and support from your mom.This is ...
How do I leave or do I stay6/18/2010
  Q: I have been in a relationship for 10 years of and on with this man who asked me to marry him a few ...
  A: I HIGHLY EXHORT YOU TO CALL OFF THIS MARRIAGE SO THAT YOU WILL BE SAVED FROM A UPCOMING LIFE ...
should i dump him?6/10/2010
  Q: I met this guy, really nice, sweet and handsome. Dressed well, in graduate school, has a good job ...
  A: Peace " A TREE IS KNOWN BY ITS FRUITS' said Jesus I suggest you to quit dating him by all ...
workaholic5/21/2010
  Q: I believe my husband suffers with workaholism and I am so codependent I can't separate his stuff ...
  A: Peace be with you! There is hope. God is willing to change your whole life. All you have to ...
my boyfriend.5/18/2010
  Q: i am 21 year old i am with my boyfriend for 5 years, he love me very much and i too but his anger ...
  A: Yes, if you want to live with this boy you will have to put up with his shouting in the ...
After th abusive relationship3/29/2010
  Q: I was in an emotionally abusive relationship for 9 months. I found th strenght to leave when my ...
  A: Max, There is no artificial cure to deal with an natural heart ache, however I understand your ...
Abusive spouse1/28/2010
  Q: My husband and I are going through family court due to a history of domestic violence in our house, ...
  A: Yes.I wish to suggest you only one thing. Repent for all sins that you have done. Start living a ...
I don't know how to cope1/1/2010
  Q: I have a couple of issues I'd like to ask about. First, a background. I was molested by my uncle ...
  A: Peace be with you. May this year be a New year for you. I understand the post molestation ...
What constitutes abuse?12/31/2009
  Q: My younger sister has always been rambunctious, sexual and aggressive. My husband says that I have ...
  A: Your concerns are very much valid. There seems to be something terribly wrong with your sister.If ...
What's a wife to do?12/22/2009
  Q: I am deeply confused about my relationship with my husband. I have suffered alot in past ...
  A: Happy to know that atleast now you seek to know the will of God in this relation! I praise God ...
My friend is being abused by her father12/7/2009
  Q: I've known this girl for about two months and she deals with a lot of problems. She is fifteen now ...
  A: This girl needs professional therapies. Team work is needed in this. She must be separated from ...
Verbal abuse11/19/2009
  Q: please help me with your advice! I'm 27 years old and 4 months pregnant. My husband and I have been ...
  A: Regarding the restraining order....I suggest you to decide after consulting a an experienced ...
Verbal abuse11/18/2009
  Q: please help me with your advice! I'm 27 years old and 4 months pregnant. My husband and I have been ...
  A: I understand your situation. I wonder how you 'cooperated' to carry his second child again ...
my ex boyfriend11/16/2009
  Q: hey i hate my ex he used to beat and forced to have sex and now i think i am prego and he wants to ...
  A: I understand your situation and the pain you are in. I highly recomend you to share your ...
incest10/31/2009
  Q: I am 22 years old and was involved in an incestuous relationship with my dad from 16-19. The sex ...
  A: I am not at all suggesting you to go to church or attend church services.This will never solve ...
incest10/31/2009
  Q: I am 22 years old and was involved in an incestuous relationship with my dad from 16-19. The sex ...
  A: I empathize with you. Before I could say anything on this , I wish to know was this consensual ...
Rocking & Abusive Marriage10/28/2009
  Q: I knew my current husband 1 1/2 year ago online after the traumatic death of my father and ...
  A: Greetings! I appreciate that you wrote a detailed mail.Kushboo there is hope for a happy future ...
Please help with your advice9/16/2009
  Q: First of all I want to thank you for reading this. I do not want to disclose my details hope you ...
  A: Greetings and peace be with you I carefully read the mail you sent and understood the sufferings ...
Abusive man9/10/2009
  Q: First a little background. Let me tell you I am not a young woman with no experience in the world of ...
  A: Greetings I an unable to answer all of your questions because it is difficult in online ...
Mental abuse9/3/2009
  Q: I am currently in an abussive relationship (I think) although he says its me that is the problem, we ...
  A: Greetings. I appreciate that you desire to break off from this relationship.He is not your ...
help me9/2/2009
  Q: I am in a distant relationship with a boy, who proposed me in a very aggressive way say "Say yes ...
  A: I very well understand your love for him. However you must know that your love for him does not ...
disfunctional relationship8/26/2009
  Q: I am a 23 year old mother of two small children under 4 years of age, both of which i had with a man ...
  A: Respected Young lady, Greetings and peace. I very well empathize with you. In my opinion, no ...
what do i do8/26/2009
  Q: i am in an online relationship.we met almost 16 months ago.i do not know what to do my boyfriend has ...
  A: Check and introspect your hear, mind and feelings to see if you have become already a victim of ...
??what am I waiting for??8/19/2009
  Q: , I have been married for 24 years and dated 7 before we got married. He was always self employed ...
  A: Peace be with you. Indeed you are a strong woman in heart in your marriage life journey!. All ...
complaint8/5/2009
  Q: I'm a PHD student in America (I'm originally from India) and I was verbally harassed by another ...
  A: Tara, Anger and hatred can be well managed with regular prayer, meditation, yoga and ...
complaint8/4/2009
  Q: I'm a PHD student in America (I'm originally from India) and I was verbally harassed by another ...
  A: Greetings and peace. I read your mail and understood the seriousness of the problem.I empathize ...
abuse8/1/2009
  Q: Thursday morning, I am waiting to go to surgery to unlblock my tubes so my husband and I can have a ...
  A: I empathize with you. I believe that your husband needs counseling. Only then he will be made ...
confusion7/28/2009
  Q: Sundar: I really don't know where to begin. Recently I had a severe allergic reaction to an unknown ...
  A: I carefully read your words and find that you are in great pain. I empathize with you. Even ...
sexual abuse7/18/2009
  Q: My girlfriend and I have been dating for over a year now and we are completely in love with each ...
  A: Give her ample time to be herself. Keep pumping love to her. Get her to learn simple meditation. ...
assistance please7/16/2009
  Q: My sister confides and her husband confide a lot in me and they decide to bring me into a bit a ...
  A: Peace be with you. Answers for your questions 1) Is this normal? It is not normal. A tussle ...
Abusive 38 year marraige7/1/2009
  Q: Good Morning, I have been married for 38 years. I was first married at age 17 which lasted only 1 ...
  A: I suggest you to separate from him permanently(physically, mentally) through legal means. Keeping ...
want to stop relation with my boyfriend...6/30/2009
  Q: sir,i am 21 yr old..i hav a boyfriend..it was not a serious relation..now my dad decided to do my ...
  A: Since it is not a serious relationship, I suggest you to take a bold step to tell the matter ...
Abusive 38 year marraige6/29/2009
  Q: Good Morning, I have been married for 38 years. I was first married at age 17 which lasted only 1 ...
  A: It is high time that you left this man.You need a deliverance. Consult your local pastor, engage ...
i need to get myself and my siblings out. . help6/23/2009
  Q: I'm 23years old and was adopted when i was 5. my adopted dad which i lived with for 11 years ...
  A: As you say there are two options. I suggest you to go ahead with the option which will bring ...
questionable abuse of 2 yo boy5/29/2009
  Q: I have custody of my 2yo grandson (since 1/09). His parents have every other weekend unsupervised ...
  A: I empathize with you fully.I understand very well your serious concerns. Since online counseling ...
My boyfriend has become a jerk.5/12/2009
  Q: Me and my bf have been together for over 2 years, its a long-distance relationship. We both are 18 ...
  A: I read your mail carefully and understood your situation. I have some suggestions for you. ...
moving on after spousal abuse5/8/2009
  Q: How do you move on after an abusive relationship? I was married to a man almost 20 years ago that ...
  A: I think a few sessions of counseling and psychotherapy will enable to heal yourself. Help of ...
dating two girls with same name4/27/2009
  Q: Okay I am going to try to keep this as short as possible…..I met Anthony while out one night we got ...
  A: Good you wrote to me in detail which helped me to understand your scenario better. I write this ...
Taking a break in a relationship4/13/2009
  Q: Okay this is going to be a complicated issue. Tony and I have been dating since September 2008. ...
  A: Natalie, The first thing you have to learn to do is to keep your mind in tranquility of kinds of ...
bullying1/22/2009
  Q: I happen to be a really beautiful woman, I used to model. I'm 6 feet tall and very thin. I live in a ...
  A: Greetings and peace. I am unable to go in depth of what you exactly are in to.I will be happy if ...
please help me out1/8/2009
  Q: i am a college going girl. my best friend had experienced a bitter childhood parental divorce. so ...
  A: Greetings and peace I very well understand your situation.As far as I understand from your letter I ...
Is it still worth a try12/16/2008
  Q: i am 20 years old i have been married to my husband since July 2007. I am from India and so is he, ...
  A: Greetings and peace. I very well understand your inner plight. It is painful especially when ...
physical and mental abuse10/30/2008
  Q: This is in response to the additional information u wanted 1) I filed for divorce in August 2008, ...
  A: You say, "..However, as time went on, the degree of his control increased and I realized that he ...
Is it time to leave?10/27/2008
  Q: My boyfriend and I have been together for one year. I am 23 and my boyfriend is 24. In late August ...
  A: Greetings. As I read your mail I am reminded of one of the similar cases like that of yours. The ...
Emotional and physical abuse10/27/2008
  Q: I have been married for a year now to a man I have known and been in love with for almost 6 years. ...
  A: Greetings. I appreciate your long and detailed mail. I very well could understand your 'inner ...
abuse8/16/2008
  Q: "I've been married to my wife for four months. We are part of a religion that encourages arranged ...
  A: Take your wife to psychologist/counselor for a few sessions. Make a mutual agreement with your ...
helping a partner move on after an abusive relationship.8/6/2008
  Q: I'm 22 and my wife is 19. We started going out five years ago and have been married for four ...
  A: First It would help me if she can tell me vividly all that she is remembering about the ...
helping a partner move on after an abusive relationship.8/5/2008
  Q: I'm 22 and my wife is 19. We started going out five years ago and have been married for four ...
  A: I understand the gravity of the past abuse that your wife is suffering presently from your ...
successful working women and husband's jealousy7/10/2008
  Q: Many women are well educated and career oriented in Saudi Arabia and Arab countries. They use their ...
  A: Greetings of peace. You have asked me to detail about the psyche of men in looking down ...
what to do?6/11/2008
  Q: i recently left an abusive relationship and moved out on my own. We have a 2 year old daughter ...
  A: Greetings from Dr.Sunu Sundar. As I read through your mail I could feel the density of of the ...
Problems5/26/2008
  Q: I have been with my husband for 2 years, was married to him 16 years ago, left him and got back ...
  A: The person you are referring to may change and start loving you. OR He may ...
abuse5/23/2008
  Q: My daughter has a six your old, she got pregnant and just had a bad 5 weeks ago while she was ...
  A: I fully empathize with you the emotional scenario that you are in. Your fears are normal as of any ...

All Questions in This Category

Abusive Relationships

All Answers


Answers by Expert:


Ask Experts

Volunteer


Dr.Sunu Sundar

Top Expert on this page

Expertise

I am a psychologist committed to Christ and enjoy relationship in His company.I can answer questions related to sexually abusive relationships in families. I can effectively deal with victims of abusive relationship. I am also efficient in dealing with child abuse and incest. I am here to help others who have questions related to above said issues. You may visit www.mindpanchakarma.org to know more about my mission

Experience

I have been a dealing with victims of sexual abuse since 2000.I have dealt with many teenagers who suffered abusive relationships. Listening to victims of incest and child sexual abuse has made me a better counselor in dealing with these issues.

Organizations
Mind Detoxification Therapy Home Ashram(MDT) In Mind Detoxification Therapy Home Ashram we treat people focusing on holistic healing. Various types of therapies offered here for detoxifiying the mind and body are derived from the wisdom of traditional Indian medical system and medicines. Victims of abusive relationship are offered special One to One residential therapy for complete healing of mind. Special packages for healthy life are available for couples and students. Treatments offered her are based on alternative medical system derived from the wisdom of saints on ancient times. Treatments are harmless with no side effects. A team of doctors headed by Dr.Sunu,committed towards the welfare of the patients are on duty in the MDT clinic

Publications
I have been writing on psychological issues in a Tamil monthly magazine called 'KULANTHAIGAL PARALUMANTAM'. I also write in a health magazine Makkal Maruthuvam.

Education/Credentials
I have a Master degree in Psychology. I also have another Master degree in Sociology. I have taken intense training from the Jesuits for seven years in the field of Personality, Self, Discipline and Morality. I am a psychologist committed to Christ and enjoy relationship in His company.

©2012 About.com, a part of The New York Times Company. All rights reserved.