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About Nafeesah
(Top Expert on this page)

Expertise
I can answer just about anything on abusive relationships, but I can't give legal advice on how to get out of one that's something you need to speak with a counselor trained and certified to deal with domestic violence issues to get resources in pursuing legal recourse.

Experience
I have been in abusive relationships and I have shared my experience in helping others to get out of these types of relationships. I was in two abusive relationships one lasting nearly 2 years and the other just over 5 years.

Education/Credentials
Associates degree, bachelors degree, and I am a certified nursing assistant

   

You are here:  Experts > People/Relationships > Marriage > Abusive Relationships

Questions Answered By Expert  Nafeesah 
In Category  Abusive Relationships

SubjectDate Asked

Why do I stay11/6/2009
  Q: After four and a half years, a baby, numerous bruises and countless disrespect, why do I stay in ...
  A: Battered women tend to stay because they've been broken down to the degree that the abuser has ...
My boyfriend is being abused by his mom10/15/2009
  Q: So my boyfriend is being verbally/physically/emotionally abused by his mom... once she knocked him ...
  A: How old is your boyfriend? Never stay quiet about abuse speak up because the worst thing you can do ...
I think my husband is cheating after five years of marrage10/13/2009
  Q: I have two children with my husband a nine years old girl and seven year old boy , we got married ...
  A: If his family is accepting of this kind of behavior it's time to move on because why would you want ...
I think my husband is cheating after five years of marrage10/8/2009
  Q: I have two children with my husband a nine years old girl and seven year old boy , we got married ...
  A: Don't let this man blame you for his cheating because it's not your fault he's behaving immaturely ...
Abusive Wife ?10/7/2009
  Q: Help! feel like I'm going crazy... I have been married for ten years, but currently separated, she ...
  A: One your family and friends are noble to try and help, but this does not involve them and they need ...
Verbally abusive boyfriend10/5/2009
  Q: I have been living with my boyfriend for over 8 years. Recently, due to terrible gambling habits ...
  A: If you got family and friends who'll let you come and stay with them go there at least you'll be ...
abusive husband9/12/2009
  Q: I was married for almost a year to a man who got progressively more and more abusive, ending up in ...
  A: Don't say eventually.....go and file the paperwork and also file a restraining order against him at ...
please help me9/2/2009
  Q: I am in a distant relationship with a boy, who proposed me in a very aggressive way say "Say yes ...
  A: I would not accept a marriage proposal from someone who acted like this guy it's like he's forcing ...
my abusive man8/31/2009
  Q: me and my boyfriend have been together 7 years. Im 22,hes 21. We have a 2 year old daughter ...
  A: Don't consider this perfect please get out of this because if you have a daughter together she'll ...
relatioship addvice8/31/2009
  Q: I have been married for nearly 3yrs been together for nearly 4 yrs, I guess I knew he had a volatile ...
  A: Jane, Sounds to me like your husband is a micromanager. This is one of the most toxic type of ...
abused, and still confused8/31/2009
  Q: since i was 21 ive been in a relationship with an older man 36, now we r 27 and 42,everyhting was ...
  A: As a woman we have a hard time letting men go especially ones who don't treat us right. You have a ...
guilt ....8/30/2009
  Q: You might not be able to help me, but I don't know who to ask!!! I let my ex move in with me in ...
  A: Kayla, At 20 years old someone like you should not be responsible for supporting a grown man who's ...
Relationship Abuse, Denial, Guilt and Narcissism8/26/2009
  Q: This is tough but here I go. Background: Married at 16 divorced at 30 - 2 kids all grown up now. ...
  A: When you deal with a narcissist you're dealing with one of the most complex and the most abusive ...
When dealing with abuse..8/24/2009
  Q: I was just wondering if you have any advice as far as leaving an abusive boyfriend goes. We were ...
  A: I was disturbed when I saw what you wrote. This guy slapped you and pointed a gun at you. I would ...
Possessive Ex8/23/2009
  Q: I'm 21. My 22 year old ex boyfriend, who I was dating for about 4 months, is really messing with my ...
  A: I just answered a question from another girl on here who's boyfriend is abusive too and I told her ...
what should i do???8/21/2009
  Q: I am 21 and have been married for 9 months my husband is very sweet in public, and everyone loves ...
  A: You're 21 years old you don't seem like you were prepared for marriage. I got engaged at 20 and ...
i want to know8/21/2009
  Q: i want to know when i will get married.
  A: I can't tell you when you'll get married that all depends on where you meet the right woman. ...
What to do? What to do?8/5/2009
  Q: Me and my partner have been together for nine years now and have 3 children ages 4,3 and 11mo. ...
  A: I want to talk to you woman to woman about this because this concerns me because you got 3 babies ...
Life Long Sentence8/3/2009
  Q: My wife has given me a life long sentence for something I am totally innocent of doing. In 1989 she ...
  A: Not only does this seem like there's long standing and possibly undiagnosed mental issues, but she's ...
truble in marrige7/31/2009
  Q: first of all thanks for taking the time to read this. I really need some help to get us through ...
  A: Phil, I am going to say this, but your wife has no idea how good she has it. How many good men like ...
One bad relationship after another7/29/2009
  Q: I have been having horrible luck breaking free from abusive relationships. At the Age of 10, my ...
  A: This is the time to seek out counseling to begin working through some of your issues because it ...
abuse7/15/2009
  Q: i have been in an abusive relationship for many years. i have been with this man for 13 years, it is ...
  A: Please take the next step as a woman and get out of this marriage because you don't need to be with ...
vulnerable in relationship7/13/2009
  Q: I am fed up with being punished and ignored by my husband when we have a problem between us he is ...
  A: If this has gotten out of hand during the 10 years you've been together you need to make some ...
clashes7/1/2009
  Q: What do you do when people pick stupid clashes with you like this? ...
  A: I would start with telling them to stop and if it continues take the next step and possibly file a ...
being stalked6/27/2009
  Q: I really dont know what to do.About 3 years ago I noticed my partner kept popping up in places he ...
  A: The only way this will stop is to file a complaint with the police because you can get a restraining ...
7 months pregnant and in an abusive relationship5/26/2009
  Q: I am in love with the guy my age and we have been together for 4 years.I am now 7 months pregnant ...
  A: It's unfortunate that you're in this situation, but right now the best thing is to do what is best ...
iam i being verbal abused5/25/2009
  Q: my husband called me a moucher and has also told me he would kill me he has grab my hand and told me ...
  A: Yes this is abuse if your husband has initiated physical contact and has threatened harm he's ...
Controlling Girlfriend or Not ?5/23/2009
  Q: My ex girlfriend and I dated for 4 months. She ended things, and now I am wondering if she was a ...
  A: Yeah this does sound like a controlling type of situation and the thing is that you have to really ...
Revenge5/20/2009
  Q: This is such a long, complex story, but I'll try to boil it down: I'm sort of an immature person, ...
  A: There's that saying that revenge is a dish best served cold, but if you're losing friends and ...
counseling5/11/2009
  Q: A year ago I was verbally attacked horribly by someone. This person screamed at me at the top of ...
  A: I would seek counseling if this has still bothered you after a year and if people were standing ...
abusive relationship5/4/2009
  Q: I was going out with this guy for almost 3 yrs and we were doing good till about the last yr of the ...
  A: Since this escalated to physical violence it's time to move on and I would also suggest seeking some ...
I don't know how seriously I should take this.4/30/2009
  Q: My boyfriend and I live together in my family's house, and have been dating almost a year (soon, I ...
  A: Because your boyfriend has no job and sees that you're doing better this could be a contributing ...
dating two girls with same name4/27/2009
  Q: Okay I am going to try to keep this as short as possible…..I met Anthony while out one night we got ...
  A: I would kick this fool to the curb because he must think you and this other girl have SUCKER stamped ...
my life is a mess4/20/2009
  Q: I have been marriued now for almost 10 years and my husband is a recovering alcoholic. He has ...
  A: This is a sad situation to be in and your husband has no reason to tell your kids that you had an ...
Guilt4/14/2009
  Q: I would really appreciate your advice. I will try to be as unbiased as I can. I have been going out ...
  A: Ok what bothers me about this guy is that he could have been a lot more along in his life by the ...
Is this abusive?4/10/2009
  Q: I am 17 years old and i have been in two relationships so far: one was for 4 years from grade 7-11, ...
  A: Your boyfriend has some abusive tendencies, but he's got to be willing to get into some counseling ...
abusive relationship .4/5/2009
  Q: Ok where do i start? Im only 16 and i have a bestfriend who is 16 as well but she's turning 17 in a ...
  A: This is serious because if this guy is threating your friend's life she needs to get out ...
Friend is emotionally abused...3/31/2009
  Q: I've know this girl for about a year and a half now. We hit it off very fast and became very close. ...
  A: This is something your friend needs to talk to her parent(s) about because it's clear that her ...
unsure3/13/2009
  Q: just started a relationship with a guy. i adore cus he is so loving towards me. only trouble is when ...
  A: Having been in a abusive relationship myself yes this is an abusive relationship waiting to happen. ...
verbal abuse and where it comes from2/23/2009
  Q: I am 62 years old and my son is 27, my wife died 3 years ago from brain cancer. I have no one else ...
  A: It's hard when you lose a spouse and it affects not only yourself, but others around you. It's sad ...
shocked2/9/2009
  Q: I've recently started dating a man and we've really hit it off. He's handsome, smart, funny, rich ...
  A: Since you are in the early stages of dating I wouldnt waste time trying to rationalize this crap ...
my husband chokes me1/29/2009
  Q: I have been married for only 4 months. Two months into the marriage my husband and I had an ...
  A: I would rather be an embarassment than a statistic. More women are killed by abusive spouses and ...
I dont know what to do?1/27/2009
  Q: We only been together 10 months so far and I'm already scared of breaking up with him.He tells me ...
  A: You're welcome and remember that love is never supposed to hurt and you are worth a nice guy who ...
bullying1/26/2009
  Q: I happen to be a really beautiful woman, I used to model. I'm 6 feet tall and very thin. I live in a ...
  A: Yes if they're harassing you and this goes on daily yes it's time to inform the dean of students of ...
I need advice1/24/2009
  Q: I've been having a problem with my current boyfriend for about a year now! Name calling and putting ...
  A: What disturbs me about your situation is that there is a child involved and you have no reason to ...
bullying1/22/2009
  Q: I happen to be a really beautiful woman, I used to model. I'm 6 feet tall and very thin. I live in a ...
  A: This sounds like some BS drama off the Bad Girls Club except it's all a bunch of silly English girls ...
what do i do?1/22/2009
  Q: good evening nafeesah, i clocked 22 years of age last september. i am a university graduate. i ...
  A: Do you have friends you can move in with or ones that need roommates that's an option for you. I ...
I dont know what to do?1/22/2009
  Q: We only been together 10 months so far and I'm already scared of breaking up with him.He tells me ...
  A: Listen very carefully to what I am about to tell you GET OUT OF THIS RELATIONSHIP. This guy is ...
what do i do?1/21/2009
  Q: good evening nafeesah, i clocked 22 years of age last september. i am a university graduate. i ...
  A: I would start by moving out of this guy's house and back home with your parents. Getting out of the ...
question1/21/2009
  Q: There was this guy I was interested in and he likes me back, I know he likes me because he told all ...
  A: If "they" as in this guy's friends are saying he's not the marrying type or one to settle down ...
Abusive relationship1/19/2009
  Q: I have been with my partner for 4 years, at first it seemed fantastic, he wanted to get engaged ...
  A: I am sorry that you're in a relationship with someone who's served you no purpose, but it's time for ...
emotional rollercoaster1/2/2009
  Q: I have been in a relationship with a woman with two children; I myself have 2 children. in the two ...
  A: You shouldnt give up your life and happiness, but if this man has been abusive since narcs are ...
need help1/2/2009
  Q: is there a book I can get to help someone deer to me in an abusive relationship to see the patern ...
  A: Go on Google and type in signs that someone's in an abusive relationship or what to look for if you ...
emotional abuse1/1/2009
  Q: I have been married for almost ten years and share five children with my husband. We are all being ...
  A: Don't be unsure....be sure and leave because if you stay things will not get any better and can even ...
emotional rollercoaster12/30/2008
  Q: I have been in a relationship with a woman with two children; I myself have 2 children. in the two ...
  A: She just complicated things by involving someone she was once with back in her life. The deal with ...
can't get over it.12/29/2008
  Q: i was in an abusive relationship for 7-8months before getting out of it, i cant seem to get over ...
  A: You're dealing with the after affects of an abusive relationship. Your friends should have not told ...
sucking a boy's dick12/28/2008
  Q: .. i'm a girl and i'm 12 years old and i'm in grade 7. i was molested a year ago but i didn't know ...
  A: Jessica, Please listen to what I am going to tell you having oral sex with this guy is dangerous ...
Emotional abusive ex wants me back and is putting pressure on me12/22/2008
  Q: My ex husband and I split after 8 years together where he controlled every desicion, undermined and ...
  A: Stick to your guns because what you're seeing is a classic case of manipulation since abusive people ...
Im abusive12/3/2008
  Q: I am a 17 year old gay man. And i have issues BIG ISSUES....I AM NOT CURRENTLY ABUSIVE. but i was ...
  A: Yes it's possible to stop what you're doing, but it could take a few rounds of therapy and time in ...
beginning of abuse?11/25/2008
  Q: My boyfriend I have been together 3 years in December. Everything was perfect until I cheated on ...
  A: He's angry because you cheated on him, but he should express his feelings differently other than to ...
so tired!11/17/2008
  Q: i love my husband so much, i left everything i had, my career, my country, my friends family. i ...
  A: You would rather be single than mistreated by someone and you would rather be single than to see ...
so tired!11/16/2008
  Q: i love my husband so much, i left everything i had, my career, my country, my friends family. i ...
  A: You always have a way out don't tell yourself that. You can make new friends and make a new life for ...
so tired!11/15/2008
  Q: i love my husband so much, i left everything i had, my career, my country, my friends family. i ...
  A: This sounds like you're being abused if your husband's resorted to taking your phone and controlling ...
*** What should we do??? ***11/13/2008
  Q: I'm 20 and my girlfriend is 21. We've been together for over 2 years and are both in college. She's ...
  A: Sounds like some trust issues is present along with the fact that she should have gone about things ...
Abusive realtionships11/2/2008
  Q: I actually have many questions. I am going through a divorce after ten years of marriage. My wife ...
  A: Here's my take and please don't take this the wrong way, but she made a choice to go back to ...
rio de janerio woman10/31/2008
  Q: I have a problem...I have been seeing this woman from brazil for 3 yrs and 5 months, when i first ...
  A: Why would you be with someone who doesnt like children? You are wasting your time with her and ...
Abusive realtionships10/30/2008
  Q: I actually have many questions. I am going through a divorce after ten years of marriage. My wife ...
  A: Women are emotional creatures and when you're dealing with abuse you're looking at years of damage ...
Abusive relationship10/26/2008
  Q: I'm 17 years old and have been in 2 abusive relationships. Well to my knowledge I never realized ...
  A: You have to learn to recognize the signs of abuse which usually starts with verbal and mental abuse. ...
breaking up10/19/2008
  Q: My boyfriend, 27 and i,19, have been dating for eight months, and living together for five of them. ...
  A: The minute a man puts his hands on you it's time to let him go and moving in with him was a mistake ...
Please Help...10/18/2008
  Q: I have been married for 2 months now. Mine was a arranged marrraige.I stayed in india while my hubby ...
  A: Here's my question to you were you prepared for this marriage? What details did you learn about this ...
Please Help...10/18/2008
  Q: I have been married for 2 months now. Mine was a arranged marrraige.I stayed in india while my hubby ...
  A: The problem with arranged marriages is that there's that possibility of the husband becoming ...
Emotionally Abused10/16/2008
  Q: I was a single mother till quite recently my baby's daddy entered the picture. We met on a telephone ...
  A: Your boyfriend is a product of his upbringing if he grew up acting rude mean and inconsiderate then ...
Emotionally Abused10/14/2008
  Q: I was a single mother till quite recently my baby's daddy entered the picture. We met on a telephone ...
  A: Please pay attention to that one sentence in your question "I deserve better than him"....this guy ...
abuse10/14/2008
  Q: I am in an abusive relationship,both mentally and physical. He threatens to harm me if I leave. He ...
  A: You need to seek legal help and the best place to start is a social service agency they have ...
what does a mother do when she finds out her daughter has been pushed by boyfriend10/7/2008
  Q: my daughter is telling me to mind my own business, I can't, I was in an abusive relationship with ...
  A: I needed some time to think about your follow up and the best way to go about this is to do what is ...
confusion10/6/2008
  Q: i have a bf frm 4 yrs..he had abusive personality..coz he controls me ,isolate me and hits ..abuse ...
  A: You can't stop someone from abusing themselves and if you're the one being abused you're validating ...
What to do?10/6/2008
  Q: I've been with my boyfriend for about 2 1/2 years now, we've had our ups and downs, more downs than ...
  A: When your boyfriend gets to the point of verbally abusing you it's time to leave this relationship. ...
confusion10/5/2008
  Q: i have a bf frm 4 yrs..he had abusive personality..coz he controls me ,isolate me and hits ..abuse ...
  A: I would not count on curing your boyfriend of this because once he's began the cycle of abuse rarely ...
help !!!10/3/2008
  Q: I have been in a relationship with a man for seven years. I met him when I was 15, dated him for 3 ...
  A: If he's still pushing you that's still abuse, if he's pinching you and is disrespecting your space ...
what does a mother do when she finds out her daughter has been pushed by boyfriend9/27/2008
  Q: my daughter is telling me to mind my own business, I can't, I was in an abusive relationship with ...
  A: You can let your daughter know that if she doesnt get herself together in terms of this relationship ...
I don't know if this qualifies as emotional abuse9/22/2008
  Q: I've been dating this guy for a year and a half. In the beginning, he fell hard for me and told me ...
  A: Yeah this is emotional abuse because I had this same nonsense with an ex until he found himself ...
Not sure if the relationship is abusive9/21/2008
  Q: I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 1 1/2 years, but I keep doubting that I did the right ...
  A: Anytime someone who constantly analyzes you and says you need to be on medication is abusive and the ...
i have no idea what to do.9/17/2008
  Q: so i got to school today and i saw my boyfriend... he looked totally bummed as soon as he saw me but ...
  A: The minute a man raises his hand at you leave him IMMEDIATELY this will not get any better. As ...
Confused9/16/2008
  Q: my name is Jacqui and I've been in a relationship for three years this January. I am fully aware ...
  A: This is what abuse will do to you long term it can make you dependent on that person and over time ...
physical abuse9/15/2008
  Q: I have read numerous letters regarding physical abuse. I am currently continuing my education to ...
  A: I would really look at the field you're going into because if you're going to be counseling people ...
PLEASE GIVE ME SOME ADVICE...9/13/2008
  Q: I AM A MOTHER OF 2 CHILDREN BOTH ARE 3 YEARS OLD AN 7 YEARS OLD.I WAS ENGAGED TO THE FATHER OF MY ...
  A: I can feel your situation and what is hard for women to understand is that abuse in any shape or ...
reeling, not healing...9/12/2008
  Q: I have recently ended an emotionally abusive relationship. I say recently, but it was over three ...
  A: Don't laminate on times that were unhappy. Thank god you were allowed to leave and not be taken out ...
Confused9/12/2008
  Q: my name is Jacqui and I've been in a relationship for three years this January. I am fully aware ...
  A: That's the whole mystery of abusive people's mentalities they don't care about who they hurt and how ...
Current Girlfriend9/9/2008
  Q: I live in Canada and a few months ago started a long distance relationship with a woman from the UK. ...
  A: Seems to be narcissistic? Unless your counselor got their credentials from a Cracker Jack box your ...
What is behind the emotional abuse?9/6/2008
  Q: Over the past year I dated a woman who I describe as 90% wonderful and 10% nasty. She pursued me ...
  A: Sounds to me like she's needy and when you combine emotional abuse that's a prescription for ...
help please9/4/2008
  Q: A man at work put up my privacy fence. I paid him. He took 2 months to do it, leading me on and ...
  A: He sounds like he's not stable mentally if he's acting really weird around you. I would avoid him ...
divorce due to I think was a unsafe marriage8/19/2008
  Q: I have just filed for a divorce and been married for less than a year. Since I been married my ...
  A: I would take the advice of the courts and the police because women who are abused make the mistake ...
can aman who abuse all women he been with change8/18/2008
  Q: i was with a man on and off four 7 years i left him he wouldnt stop abusing ,i found out he was ...
  A: If you learned that he was married after being with him off and on for 7 years I hate to be honest ...
How can I leave my abusive boyfriend?8/14/2008
  Q: Help! I have three kids, none are his, yet he acts as though they are. He calls me horrible names in ...
  A: This is the time to leave and I mean LEAVE because the longer you stay the worse the abuse gets. ...
my friends abusive relationship.8/4/2008
  Q: A very dear friend of mine has been in an emotionally abusive relationship for over three years. The ...
  A: Here's what people should really see when abuse is evident. Your friend has been conditioned by the ...
son-in-law manipulative7/25/2008
  Q: My daughter recently got married. We found out just before the wedding that her then-fiancee had ...
  A: When you're dealing with abuse this is what you get is manipulation and knowing that your daughter ...
successful working women and husband's jealousy7/10/2008
  Q: Many women are well educated and career oriented in Saudi Arabia and Arab countries. They use their ...
  A: Coming from someone who's been raised as muslim I can tell you that a lot of what muslim men feel ...
abuse7/8/2008
  Q: I have been married for 19 years and I cant take it anymore.My husband is so verbally abusive I cant ...
  A: Coming from experience being abused by someone who claims to love you is the most disgraceful ...
Mental Abuse7/7/2008
  Q: I have been dating a guy for almost 3 years, he says he loves me, but he blames everything on me and ...
  A: This is where you need to make your break because abuse always starts at the mental and emotional ...
Abusive Relationship7/5/2008
  Q: I have been with my boyfriend for two and a half years. Our relationship has never been good. Our ...
  A: Coming from experience from having been in an abusive relationship I will say that it won't get any ...
what do abusers think?7/4/2008
  Q: i was in a verbal abusive relationship for 3 yrs, hard to leave but a month ago she had a graduation ...
  A: Manipulation is the abuser's biggest tool they utilize it to no end and from what your ex is doing ...
what do abusers think?7/4/2008
  Q: i was in a verbal abusive relationship for 3 yrs, hard to leave but a month ago she had a graduation ...
  A: Actually your ex should keep telling herself that the men she treats like crap will come back when ...
what do abusers think?7/2/2008
  Q: i was in a verbal abusive relationship for 3 yrs, hard to leave but a month ago she had a graduation ...
  A: Abusive relationships are hard to leave because of the psychological and emotional scars they leave. ...
abusive ex6/30/2008
  Q: I dated my ex for about a year. We lived together for the last 4 months of our relationship. He ...
  A: I wouldnt move an inch if I were you. What women don't know about mental, emotional, and physical ...
withholding affection6/23/2008
  Q: I left my boyfriend a few months ago because of his anger. He would rage, throw things, and break ...
  A: This is where you look at the pattern of abuse in families when mom makes excuses for her son's ...
Stuck in a relationship6/20/2008
  Q: Hey , i'm a 17 year old high school girl from Algeria and i have a serious problem , i'm from a very ...
  A: Anytime a guy starts using manipulation especially threatening you it's time to consider legal ...
withholding affection6/20/2008
  Q: I left my boyfriend a few months ago because of his anger. He would rage, throw things, and break ...
  A: If your boyfriend's mother told you she feared her son would hurt you that's a red flag to leave ...
husband is extremely selfish6/13/2008
  Q: I have been married to my husband for nearly 13 years. We had no children until nearly 3 years ago. ...
  A: Sounds to me like he was content when the kids werent around and now that you got 3 of them it's ...
why is it so hard to leave6/11/2008
  Q: I am a 28 year old female in a relationship with a 27 year old female. She has many male ...
  A: Anyway you look at it gay or straight you're being abused because if you're isolating yourself from ...
Why?6/5/2008
  Q: I don't know what I am doing half the time. I've been with my boyfriend for a couple months. In the ...
  A: The thing is you have not done anything wrong and this is what abuse does to you is make you feel ...
niece in a bad relationship6/4/2008
  Q: I'm really scared about my niece being with this guy, she only knew for 3 months, in the three ...
  A: It's good you recognize that she's got signs of mental illness, but when you're dealing with mental ...
Daughter5/27/2008
  Q: My daughter was in a 5 year abusive relationship with a guy. She has been out of that relationship ...
  A: Coming from experience I was dealing with the aftermath of my own abusive relationship with someone ...
is my boyfriend abusive?5/26/2008
  Q: I am in relationship for 2 years.I am single mother.4 month ago i lost my job.Had to move to ...
  A: I am going to be honest about this and say yes because this is what emotional and psychological ...

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