| Subject | Date Asked |
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| Relationship | 12/1/2008 |
Q: I have newly married just about 10 months. I am happy he is a good guy, his only flaw which now seem ...
A: You help him grow up. You explain to him that he is acting like a six year old child and tell him to ...
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| Husband Hurt Me | 11/22/2008 |
Q: I have been married for 15 years. My husband and I have four kids. We had an arguement a week ago ...
A: If you want to have independence, you will need to support yourself. That is a good thing. I would ...
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| what is wrong with me? | 11/17/2008 |
Q: I have been married for 25 yrs. I have been unhappy for along time. My husband used to drink, go out ...
A: why does there have to be something wrong with you? It sounds to me like you don't love him anymore, ...
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| *** What should we do??? *** | 11/13/2008 |
Q: I'm 20 and my girlfriend is 21. We've been together for over 2 years and are both in college. She's ...
A: I think you are being a bit immature. It is obvious you don't trust her, and quite frankly you are ...
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| relationship with a drug addict | 4/14/2008 |
Q: I have been friends with and have been living a heroin and crack addict for almost a year now. He ...
A: The rule of thumb is to wait for one year of sobriety before you should expect an addict to be able ...
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| James Please Help! THANK U!!! | 4/1/2008 |
Q: First of all thank you so much for taking in my question. I am under a lot of duress, and issues. My ...
A: I think he is highly immature and insecure. He doesn't have enough emotional maturity to recognize ...
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| Alcoholic Fiance Wants an Enabler | 3/24/2008 |
Q: I currently live with my 33-year-old fiance. He's a professional man with a MBA and a good job. He ...
A: I think you are avoiding the bigger question of why do you want to marry someone that will ...
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| Abusive boyfriend.. | 2/20/2008 |
Q: Friday Febuary 15, 2008. My boyfriend and I only been together for 2 mos. and we were drinking ...
A: You did nothing wrong. Sometimes we fall in love with people who have deep emotional problems. We go ...
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| hello | 2/19/2008 |
Q: just wondering if you can help me i am separated from my husband of 30years and i just cant seem to ...
A: It is okay to love him, and to protect yourself first. If he is abusing you, it may be painful to ...
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| controlling relationships | 1/6/2008 |
Q: my name is Amy and I'm 28 years old. I have been with my fiance for 4 years now and most of it has ...
A: I would have a chat with your fiance about his behavior. If it isn't working for you, you should ...
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| Battered woman | 1/5/2008 |
Q: I've been involved with a woman, for 8 months now, that had been abused for 20 years, by her ex. I ...
A: Yes, it is entirely possible that she would abuse you. I would remember the source of your ...
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| touching me in my sleep | 1/1/2008 |
Q: James, I a just out of an 8 year relationship with a guy who was a lovely person in many ways, very ...
A: It is up to you to decide how and when someone touches you. Many women find it erotic to wake up to ...
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| when a person mistreats you ( revised) | 11/19/2007 |
Q: I have known this guy over a year,its was an LDR, we have corresponded via phone, email,vidoe etc,in ...
A: The real question is why are you so torn up about a person you have never met? It is obvious that he ...
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| frustrated by the situation I have here: sexless/passionless marriage | 11/3/2007 |
Q: I have got frustrated by the situation I have here: I am 26 years old, Iranian, I met V, a nice ...
A: It sounds like you are in denial of the fact that you are living with a emotionally challenged ...
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| realationship | 10/28/2007 |
Q: i've been seeing a 34year old man for about 3 months. He told me some of the abuse he and his twin ...
A: If he is not responding to you, that is a message all by itself. It is not whether you are ...
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| I'm losing my mind!!! | 10/20/2007 |
Q: I have been with my ex over a year and I left him about 6 months ago. I fell in love with him and ...
A: How many times will he have to hit you before you realize that he is dangerous and cannot be ...
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| Verbally abusive relationship | 9/16/2007 |
Q: I have been in a typical abusive relationship for 6 years. (verbally/mentally)... I am done feeling ...
A: Well, it looks like you need some help enforcing your boundaries. You can tell him that you want him ...
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| Abusive Relationship | 8/2/2007 |
Q: I just got out of a really abusive relationship I don't know how to deal with it now how do I ...
A: Of course you will get over it. Time heals all wounds. If it was really traumatic you should ...
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| Abusive Relationships | 7/31/2007 |
Q: My friendis involved with a guy and to me he seems to be verbally abusive. One minute he is ...
A: It sounds to me more like he is more insecure than abusive. Almost like he is daring her to leave. ...
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| friend's relationship | 7/26/2007 |
Q: my fiancee's friend is 26 years old.."bob"..he hasn't ever really had a girlfriend until about 8 ...
A: All you can do is tell him the truth in a loving way. If he continues on this path of destruction, ...
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| dual abuse | 7/26/2007 |
Q: my gf began abusing me verbally from almost the beginning of our relationship. after 3 year I found ...
A: It depends on how you expressed your anger at her. Many times people who abuse another feel like ...
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| Is it Incest? | 7/23/2007 |
Q: I am 16 years old (a Female) I would like to Know if it is incest to sleep with a STEP brother? If ...
A: I believe that there are several factors at play here. First, at some level, even though it may be ...
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| My fiance thinks I was a slut | 7/19/2007 |
Q: I Googled “female promiscuity” because I have an issue and I hope one of your readers can give me ...
A: It is worse to marry someone that doesn't love you than to sleep with someone that doesn't love you. ...
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| I think I was In an Abusive Relationship | 7/11/2007 |
Q: My girlfriend of the past year just broke-up with me about two months ago...I am devastated over the ...
A: If drugs weren't involved, I would simply chalk this one up to "that is why long distance ...
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| Verbally abusive mother-in-law | 6/29/2007 |
Q: I knew before I married my fantastic husband that his mother was a problem. She verbally and ...
A: You should treat her like any other human being who treated you this way. How would you respond to a ...
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| Friend of mine | 6/26/2007 |
Q: My friend has a domineering and controlling husband. He even follows her to the bathroom. That is ...
A: This appears to be your friend's passive agressive way of dealing with her husband. I assume she is ...
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| Controlling possesive relationship | 6/21/2007 |
Q: I am 22 I have been with my fiancee for 5 and a half years now. We have a 3 year old daughter ...
A: I think now is the time to say "enough". You need to set boundaries with him, he is treating you ...
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| help me | 6/5/2007 |
Q: I have to make this short and as complete as i can for fear i will be caught writing this. i think i ...
A: To be blunt, you are in a terribly abusive relationship and you need to leave. To leave, you simply ...
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| Is this emotional abuse? | 5/13/2007 |
Q: I'm basically going to crop this down and only explain the main ideas, but just so you know that ...
A: It might be borderline abuse, but what the heck, you committed the unpardonable sin of adultery and ...
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| Can I inform the next victim of a perpretator? | 5/8/2007 |
Q: I have left my 'husband' a few months ago and have avoided all contact with him. Since his has been ...
A: I would not put anything in writing. I would simply call her up and ask to meet her and then tell ...
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| Verbal abuse | 4/27/2007 |
Q: My husband drinks excessively and when he does, he becomes very verbally abusive. I had printed an ...
A: Alcoholics do things all the time when they are drunk that they don't remember. Alternatively, they ...
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| mental abuse | 4/25/2007 |
Q: i have been in a somewhat relationship with a guy for about 2 years now. i don't understand what his ...
A: Why don't you tell him to get lost? Sounds like a great idea to me. I would have to guess that this ...
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| addiction vs. relationship | 4/22/2007 |
Q: I met my now ex-boyfriend in May of 2006. It was absolutely love at first sight. We got along so ...
A: I have seen sobriety work miracles, but as long as someone continues to use, the drug will always ...
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| Pregnant Daughter in Abusive Relationship | 4/10/2007 |
Q: I don't really even know where to begin. My daughter is 20 and due in May. She has been in a ...
A: Sometimes you have to let your children find out the lessons and consequences of their decisions. ...
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| attn; why do i explode | 3/29/2007 |
Q: man i feel betrayed! is it my expections of her? is it my childhood that takes my abilities to love? ...
A: Most anger problems arise from unresolved traumas or abuse suffered during childhood. Anger is ...
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| video game addictions | 3/6/2007 |
Q: One moreHow does issues with the mother affect a sexual relationship the way you suggest with ours? ...
A: There is lots of information about the affects of incest on men. Emotional incest is as destructive ...
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| video game addictions | 3/4/2007 |
Q: I wasn't sure if this fell into the right category but thought I'd give it a shot. I think that my ...
A: This is a time for boundaries. You need to discuss with him reasonable time for playing games, and ...
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| abusive husband and father | 2/26/2007 |
Q: i have been married over 20 years to a man that was a very caring and kind man.he injured his back ...
A: This is about boundaries, and he is trying to make you into his mother. You need to have a talk with ...
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| LETTING GO | 2/8/2007 |
Q: I'VE CHEATED ON 3 TIMES AND YET I STILL STAY WITH HIM HOW DO I LET GO OF AN 4 YEAR RELATIONSHIP. HE ...
A: You have to ask yourself whether it is better to stay with him and his cheating or to be free and ...
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| My Marriage | 1/22/2007 |
Q: I think you are right about him not given the chance to grow up when he was a child. Now that he is ...
A: I can't answer whether divorce will benefit you. That depends on him. If he is going to make your ...
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| My Marriage | 1/22/2007 |
Q: We have gone through this before in counseling. Our communication and relationship have improved. ...
A: It sounds like he was never allowed to grow up emotionally by his mother. It would be good if you ...
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| abusive boyfriend | 1/21/2007 |
Q: My boyfriend and I have been together for about two years, and the whole time I have been unsure ...
A: You can't fix him. You need to end the relationship ASAP because you are going to end up being hurt. ...
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| Boyfriends disaooearing act | 1/20/2007 |
Q: What can I do to get my boyfriend to stop doing the disappearing act? He chooses to drink. he does ...
A: Sounds like your boyfriend is more boy than friend. The question is how patient are you to wait ...
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| Abusive relations | 1/10/2007 |
Q: My girlfriend is silently abusing me; i think it is about the abortion which occurred 2years ago.. I ...
A: You need anger counseling NOW. You are so confused and angry about everything in your life you need ...
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| My daughter | 1/7/2007 |
Q: My daughter is in an abusive relationship and denies everything, even though she came over the other ...
A: Willis I think that I would show up and keep quiet. She knows what she is getting into and how you ...
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| Hi! I need help with ur expertise... | 1/6/2007 |
Q: "First, my gf and I have been with each other for two years now...we just broke up. The reason was ...
A: The first thing you need to do is get counseling about your violent and abusive nature. That is ...
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| Emotional Abuse and Control | 1/4/2007 |
Q: I have been in an abusive, controlling relationship with a man for nearly 4 years. It's been a ...
A: You have to start believing that you deserve better than this and quit falling in love with people ...
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| anti-social abuser | 1/4/2007 |
Q: Do you think someone with an anti-social manipulative controlling personality can change with ...
A: From your description this guy is a poster child for domestic violence. It is only a matter of time ...
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| help with the | 12/28/2006 |
Q: My childhood was fine - I've messed up royally as a result of drinking...and yes, addiction has ...
A: What you describe is an addiction to chaos. I know it well, as I finally realized I had the same ...
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| help with the "after-shock" and retaliation of abuse | 12/24/2006 |
Q: So, I'll try to keep this short. I was in a verbally abusive relationship- I am an addictive person ...
A: I believe that the operative word here is "addictive". The classic definition of addiction is ...
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| advice me | 12/20/2006 |
Q: please, am 24 years and been going out with my guy for 4 years. we met when we were at the ...
A: This is a difficult situation. Only time will heal this wound. If he loves you, he will eventually ...
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| help! | 12/19/2006 |
Q: i have been with my boyfriend for 4 yrs, we bought a house together about a year ago and thats when ...
A: It is fairly obvious that he does not love you in a healthy way. When he was violent and hurt you a ...
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| What Should I do??? | 12/19/2006 |
Q: I am married for 2 years and i think..i am in an unfulfilling relationship. Simply bekoz my better ...
A: Have you been to counseling? That might help you both. It sounds like his drinking may be making him ...
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| I am so scared and lost | 12/17/2006 |
Q: I have been with this girl for about 6 months now, the story starts like this. She was previously in ...
A: Falling in love with an emotionally damaged woman is a difficult thing to manage. There are two ways ...
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| very bad case of abuse | 12/16/2006 |
Q: My friend is miserable as she is in an abusive relationship.Her husband of 3 mons. is nice to her ...
A: She needs counseling for battered spouse syndrome, and she needs to decide whether the risk of ...
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| Past Abusive relationship | 12/9/2006 |
Q: Me and my Girlfriend have been dating for a year and a half now. The first year of our ...
A: It is impossible to tell how long counseling will take. Perhaps months or years. I hope that you ...
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| expectations | 12/8/2006 |
Q: Straight to the point...My husband is in Iraq...we have been married since may3 and he left may ...
A: You may be right, but you will end up divorced over it. Is that what you want? If you want to stay ...
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| Questionable Motives... | 12/4/2006 |
Q: For six months now, I've been dating a guy who makes me feel as if I have to tip toe my way around ...
A: It would appear that he is the emotional equivalent of a six year old and is hugely codependant. He ...
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| getting on after an abusive relationship | 11/18/2006 |
Q: I was in a very negative relationship that was both mentally and physically abusive. It ended very ...
A: It sounds like the first guy was a teacher how not to be. There are two types of teachers, those who ...
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| Abusive Husband | 11/17/2006 |
Q: maybe you misunderstood the question. the husband isn't abused the wife is. so why recommend ...
A: Perhaps you did not understand my answer. I personally feel that any woman that is being abused ...
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| abusive?? boyfriend | 11/14/2006 |
Q: My very first relationship. I'm 16..he is 17. Absolutely sweet, kind, adorable and makes me feel ...
A: It is well documented that steroids cause psychosis and violence in abusers. The next thing he hits ...
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| mental abuse | 10/29/2006 |
Q: I have been engaged to a man for about a year who is an attorney and who has been so giving to ...
A: You need to set some boundaries and tell him if he is going to be critical of you, you do not wish ...
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| Will this feeling ever change? | 10/17/2006 |
Q: I have recently come to realize that I am in a verbally abusive relationship. I started counseling ...
A: It is possible to find clarity and serenity anywhere, including in an abusive relationship. However, ...
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| jealous/insecure boyfriend? | 10/9/2006 |
Q: It is funny you ask that. I AM 35 and he is 43, neither of us ever married. I know all of this is ...
A: As I teach emotional maturity courses, I would say that your lines of communication are a bit rusty. ...
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| Relationships | 10/7/2006 |
Q: ive been seeing a girl for almost two years and i like her alo but im starting to like her friend ...
A: You are faced with a dilemma, because if you make a play for the friend and it fizzles she is sure ...
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| abuse? | 10/1/2006 |
Q: I have a simple quesstion. I have been married for about 2 years. My wife is Korean and I moved to ...
A: I believe every state now has a "No fault divorce", which means that all you need to show is that ...
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| Boyfriend's drinking getting worse and worse. | 9/27/2006 |
Q: I am 23 and my boyfriend is 26. We've been together for about 9 yrs. When my boyfriend was 17 he ...
A: You need to start attending meetings of Alanon, which is a support group for people effected by ...
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| What happened to my relationship? | 9/25/2006 |
Q: My relationship just ended, i was with that guy for almost a year and a half. During that time, he ...
A: You are not responsible for his behavior, he is acting like a six year old. You are responsible for ...
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| abusive relationships | 9/11/2006 |
Q: I wanted to know if statistics show that if children grow up in an abusive home that they meaning ...
A: I am the victim of an abusive childhood and my experience is that many of my character traits and ...
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| How can I help the man I love? | 9/5/2006 |
Q: James, I have been with my fiance' since March 2006. We were living together since the middle of ...
A: I expect that he will go get another dose of abuse and then come running back to you. Some people ...
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| Dealing with Silent Treatment | 8/29/2006 |
Q: It's much appreciated, but he would never go to therapy. What would you suggest that I do in this ...
A: I agree with your friends and you need to let him go. He has deep emotional problems that trigger ...
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| Dealing with Silent Treatment | 8/29/2006 |
Q: I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for the last six years. We have a very good ...
A: Sounds like he could use some rage therapy. There is something eating him that has nothing to do ...
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| the silent treatment | 8/18/2006 |
Q: A bit of history. My husband and I married 9 years happily. Monday he went snooping on my computer ...
A: I believe you owe your husband an apology. You may not have physically cheated on him but you ...
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| Abuse and Addiction | 8/4/2006 |
Q: What are the chances of my relationship working out with my boyfriend of 5 years. Mind you, we been ...
A: Addiction not only kills you, it kills relationships. Until you both change your behavior, your ...
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| Enough? | 7/25/2006 |
Q: If I didn't think he was worth it, I wouldn't be asking if it's something that can be fixed. What ...
A: If you asked six counselors what they thought you would get six different answers. My belief is that ...
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| Enough? | 7/24/2006 |
Q: James- My name is Sara and I have been married for 6 months. A month after we were married he began ...
A: Run, don't walk, away from this man. He is dangerous and -will continue to play you like a yo-yo. He ...
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| what do you think? | 7/14/2006 |
Q: My boyfriend and I just had a really horrible breakup. we were together for 9 months and we have a ...
A: Dera Jala It is really good that you are seeing that old behaviors are causing problems. If you can ...
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| plz help | 6/28/2006 |
Q: I'm a mess.I need your help.I don't know how to make this short so I'll put in the highlights. Met ...
A: This is really very simple. He is a predator, you are the prey. Get as far away from him as ...
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| Is this Abuse, illegal or Neither | 6/27/2006 |
Q: My spouse & I are having an Argument in our bedroom. Our two sons ages 7 & 10 are in the living ...
A: Closing the door to protect your children from hearing an argument is not abuse. How you respond to ...
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| Need advise please | 6/25/2006 |
Q: i'm 6 years married.About 2 years ago my husband found a new hobby (alcohol) and invested all ...
A: The hearing should not take long, although you may have to wait for your case to be called to be ...
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| Mental Abuse | 6/13/2006 |
Q: Me and my partner are 40 years old. We see each other once/twice a week, but this changes if he ...
A: Run, don't walk, away from this man. He is emotionally, physically, mentally abusing you. You have ...
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| Looking to change my approach | 6/1/2006 |
Q: My boyfriend is the sweetest person and cares deeply for me. He will rase his voice when I point out ...
A: I think both would help. I would suggest that you preface your requests with "I would really love it ...
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| Long...sorry, need HELP! | 5/15/2006 |
Q: Hey yall, hope you can help a little.I'm 54, my bf 46.We've been 2gether off and on over 3 years.I ...
A: I am more curious as to how much abuse you will suffer before you realize that this is a sick ...
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| A Tough One | 4/22/2006 |
Q: Gee, I hope you can help me.I'll make it short. Met a guy on the net over 3 yrs ago, very rocky ...
A: I think your last statement pretty much sums it up. You believe you are hopeless so you put up with ...
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