Expert: james52144@earthlink.net - 10/9/2006

Question
It is funny you ask that.
I AM 35 and he is 43, neither of us ever married.
I know all of this is absolutely ridiculous, but it put me off that her would say these things. AND prhaps I am being insecure and cautious as well. For the past 3-4 months we have been getting along well, having fun, communicating well and he even expressed that at this point of time in life, he is finally ready to have kids.  We dated a year ago and broke off becuase he felt I was ready to be married (which I never mentioned) and he claimed he had a fear of committment.  Now a year we are trying to date again with him making the initial persuit.  Do you think he is waning again, or am I just being ultra sensitive?   
-------------------------

Followup To

Question -
Dear James,
My boyfriend looked at my Birthday pictures and made a comment about Matt, my neighbor he said" well, Matt looks like a nice guy he is tall, what is wrong with him?  How old is he? Nothing is wrong with him and he's your neighbor."
I asked if he was impyling something and he said no.  However, I took it that either he was jealous and trying to get a response out of me as to if I were interested/attracted Or is he trying to pawn me off on Matt?
Please help, I am sensitive and this really bothered me.  I have not brought it up since.

Answer -
Dear Nicole

How old are you? It sounds like your boyfriend might be a little insecure, but it is hard to tell. If you are 16, that would be normal. If you are 35, that would not be appropriate.  

Answer
Dear NIcole

As I teach emotional maturity courses, I would say that your lines of communication are a bit rusty. The bigger question is what is the goal of this relationship? Occassional dating or something else? Casual friendship or something else? You need to talk to him about his feelings and desires in order to have an intimate relationship. If he doesn't want to talk to you about those subjects, then I would let it go as a casual friendship and nothing more.