Expert: Azure - 6/6/2007

Question
My 49 yr old partner sold his house and moved into mine 1 yr ago.We had a reasonable gentle loving relationship, he had a good job and paid half the bills for two months.Then he gave up his job and announced he was becoming a music student.I have supported him financially ever since.He has become obsessive about his music and does not come in until about 3am most nights having been with the music school people.I do not see him in the week but am just aware of him being asleep next to me in bed when I get up for work.There is no other contact as he will not answer calls or texts from me at all. I have tried to take an interest in the school and the music but get accused of making fun of his acheivements, which I dont.He has become a director and will teach at the school soon. Weekends consist of him running school open days or working on music in my garage from 8am until 11pm where he has music equipment.If I try to ask if he will have time to do anything together he just says "you just dont get it , do you" and geos to the garage and doesnt like it if I then do something on my own, like a hobby.I am totally ignored if I take him a drink, and never get thanks for preparing food.He does nothing in the house.When he does speak it is only about music, never about my day or well-being.If I suggest doing something to give him a break, such as a walk or cycle ride, he accuses me of trying to make him do it, which I dont.Why does he ignore me like this when I would be willing to help him in any way I can and anyway I hold all the cards as it is my house, I pay all the bills and I could throw him out anytime I wanted.I do love him, but I find the situation hard.What is going on?  

Answer
what's goin on is you're bein taken for a ride by a self-absorbed jerk, and your insecurities (aka "love") are keeping you imprisoned in this mess.. consider this a long overdue wake-up call--time to regain your self-esteem, end this charade, throw the turkey out, recapture your life--hopefully you agree you deserve FAR MORE than this..