Expert: james52144@earthlink.net - 11/19/2007

Question
Hello,
I have known this guy over a year,its was an LDR, we have corresponded via phone, email,vidoe etc,in this relationship he used to call me constantly then once it was time for us to meet he backed off and rejected me.  I am the one that wants to be in a relationship more than he does, I understand LDR doesnt work since he pointed it out, and then found himself a girlfriend, which has hurt me beyond belfief,all summer long i have been pining over him and depressed because of this while he calls once and a blue moon just as a friend.  It seems as if he has broken up with his gf since he has been more available to call me,thats how i know, but I notice all my interactions have been fustrating.  He asked me to signed up for yahoo msgr so we could chat online but when i sign on do, he ignores me especially when I say hi to him.  I believe he keeps lying saying just because he's online doesnt mean he's by his computer however, my msgs do appear when he signs on and doesnt even reply.  Most of my friends reply to online and doesnt ignore me like he does.  Last time he complained how long we spent chatting online, while we were flirting which hurt my feelings.  I left him alone and week later when i saw him online beyond my better judgment, I said hi, he ignored me again, so I said fine dont answer, then he replied he was on a video call,which meant he probably was probably talking to another woman,then he made himself appear offline,and I havent heard from him at all.  I knw this because  when he first started going out with his gf,he ignored me totally, i hardly heard from him. since we started off a,he used to turn to me for support when things go bad,and also said he was attracted to me, but it seems only sexually since obviously he doesnt want any kind of relationship, he consstanly gives mixed signals. Sugeesting that i sign up online then we can talk but since ignore me when he's online, also he has this habit of not replyin gto my emails when before he always responded. In that incidence,like many others, I felt  he was very rude and now i promise myself to leave him alone, bnut i have been promising myself that for ages knowing by his actions he doesnt care at all for me.  it hurts what should I do?

Answer
Hi Selena

The real question is why are you so torn up about a person you have never met? It is obvious that he is scared of commitment, he hides behind his computer and runs away anytime anything starts to get real. Dump him and go get yourself a real boyfriend.