Expert: Azure - 2/6/2006

Question
I started dating a 39 year old man whose never been married, single, successful professional man.  He was the sweetest thing, always smiling.  Soon after we started dating we had a couple of incidents where he believed I was trying to compete with him, convinced that most people are jealous and always want to negate other's accomplishments.  When he starts on an issue he will repeat himself and talk about it ad nauseum and there is no changing his mind.  Once the relationship became official he got upset more often and blew up on a regular basis because of what he saw as a lack of respect.  He often says things like How dare you. Who told you, you could talk.  He has broken up with me many times and everytime I've gone back and asked for forgivenes he took me back saying he was giving me another chance.  He claims that I am ruining our relationship by showing lack of respect when I take more than 30 seconds to reply to him or when I interrupt him while he is talking but he does it all the time to me.  He screams, swears and yells repeating himself over and over again like a mad man.  He drills me about my previous relationships and blows up about every small issue telling me i should be with one of my exes.  He has this thing about doing to me everything that I've done and that he does not approve of.  So if I did not answer his question one he won't answer me either.  Past issues are never over they are constantly revisited.  He says he loves me but will not tolerate my behaviour therefore can't be with me.
I love this man because he can be the sweetest thing when he is not in crisis.  I would like to know if the relationship is worth salvaging.  I have to beg him to take me back everytime.  He recently asked me to meet him half way in Amsterdam but has not offered to pay for my ticket.  He also has an erectile dysfunction.  He has never penetrated me.
Please help I am a single mother and would really like for this relationship to work.

Answer
are you serious??...let's see, you're detailing a guy that's neurotic, argumentative, insensitive, arrogant, inconsiderate, revengeful, disrespecful, emotionally abusive, that can't perform sexually, that you have to BEG to take YOU back--(sounds like every woman's dream), and you want to know how to insure MORE of the same?? what's wrong with this picture??..the real question is, what is the source of the insecurity/neediness within you that's prevented you from leaving this jerk LONG AGO??-- let's face it, he's not changing, leaving you the choice of facing your demons and ending this unhealthy addiction, or continuing to waste precious time in an unsatisfying world of quiet desperation..