Expert: Azure - 8/28/2007

Question
Ive been with my now ex-boyfriend for only four months. I first moved out of his house after only 5 weeks.  (We had a terrible but senseless arguement)I wanted to be left alone but he persisted in annoying me to talk, this really bothered me as he seemed to be getting a little violent. I moved back in with him after living away for a week and him promising to give me more space when needed.  ok... this past Saturday, we had an arguement over again something stupid, upon me trying to leave his presence, he became violent, cursing at me, he shoved me into my car (after i slapped him in the face). I obtained an o.p. as he had threatened to kill me. Now three days later he is asking me to move back in with him claiming he would never really do anything to hurt me, that he was just angry and said things he didnt mean. I care for him and we even talked about having a family a year or so from now. im confused, im 36, recently divorced from an abusive 13 year marriage, and my family would not approve of me returning to him. My children, 5,9,12, love him, i have not told them anything. Any advice? Am I just looking for trouble by moving back or should I move on? Other than the two disputes we had, we got along perfectly, great communication, sex life, everything. Thank you, Karyn

Answer
wasn't one abusive arrangement enough?..tigers don't lose their stripes; anyone that lays a hand on a woman ONCE, is always capable of doing it again, and worse; this is nothing more than a co-dependent arrangement, and he'll say what he has to to convince you to return, only for the abuse to re-begin, again; the choices; staying away from him forever, or an unhealthy, addictive life of fear and despair..