Expert: David Simonsen - 10/8/2007

Question
My son is 18 and has been dating a 20 yr old girl for 7 months during this time he has totally changed who he is as a person, whtdrawn, nervous, angry gave up things he used to enjoy never spends time at home or with friends anymore always on the phone, cant go one day without seeing her, she is very controlling and manipulative, she does not like me, because i called her on her actions. my son left lastnight and stayed at her house because i told him exactly how hes controlling him, he has become very direspectful and i am sick of the whole thing. he came to me about a month ago and asked my advice on how to handle her behavior, now that weve told him she wants nothing to do with us, she has got him so warped that he belives that his family is the problem and we should apologize to her.
is there any hope at all

Answer
Amanda,
you need to show your son the door politely. You are being run over by a disrespectful ADULT. If you continue to not act the bad behavior will continue. Your words will not work as you have seen. What will work is action. Now don't be scared or manipulated into not doing it. It sounds as if your son may have been somewhat spoiled in his upbringing and you are seeing the result of that. Either way you need to bring the reality of this situation to his attention by informing him that he needs to be out by the end of the week. He will leave in a huff and probably return eventually as his G/f gets tired of him sponging off of her.
David
www.help4life.net