Expert: David Simonsen - 11/27/2007

Question
Ok umm my b/f is 22 and im 17, he has a drinking problem and last Sat. i honeslty was scared of him for the first time in my life.  I have read up on people in abusive relationships and he seems to have all of the symptoms except that he dosent hit me or put his hands on me.  He tells me what i can and cannot wear, he wont let me have any guy friends whatsoever, he tells me what i can and cannot do, he goes through my phone and reads all of my txt messages and sees who i've been calling, and he accusies me of going out and cheating on him even though I have no vehicle.  I am bothered by the fact that his roomate is dating my boyfriends ex girlfriends little sister and my boyfriends ex is now coming over there.  He gets mad at me for the smallest things and i barley stand up for myslef because im scared he will break up with me. I love him so much but im now realizing that he could be mentally abusing me and i need a 2nd opinion... so please help me... thanks jenni marie

Answer
Jenni,
C'mon this is not love. You must be running away from something or trying to prove something or must think pretty lowly of yourself to stay with a loser like this. Yes I said is a LOSER. Love is not what you just described. What you described is someone getting ready to hit or kill you when you do something they don't like. I know you are not an adult yet so maybe it can be chalked up to you being young, but you are being FOOLISH. You should not be with this guy for whatever reason. Anybody that says this is a good much is an idiot. Plus, if you are sleeping together he is breaking the law. So....wow your boyfriend is pretty impressive....a criminal and abusive controller... Introduce him that way (the real way) and people won't be impressed.
David