Expert: Sean Martinfield - 10/19/2011

Question
Hello,

I am a 15 year old male who has been raised by mostly my mother. Unfortunately, when I speak now, I have a very feminine/gay voice. I am completely straight 100%, but everyone thinks I'm gay cause of my voice. I don't act gay, I don't dress gay, im really tough and not girly at all. IT'S JUST MY VOICE! I really tend to change pitches when I speak and put emphasis on certain vowels. I don't really have a problem with "s" or "t" pronunciation, it's just because my mom raised me, and taught me how to speak altogether, I adopted a femine vocal style. I have a pretty deep voice, I just hate the feminine style it has.

Is there ANY way of getting rid of this and speaking like a man?!?! I heard of speech therapy and pathology, vocal surgery and I also heard smoking helps roughen up a voice. I am desperate to get rid of this way of speech! Also is there any way of doing it at home??

( also, I have absolutely no problem with homosexuals and I respect them it's just that I am not gay and I hate it when people assume it)

Thank you so much,

John

Answer
Hi, John –

Thank you for an interesting question.

I understand your concerns and all of your socially-related fears. They cannot be solved by speech therapy, or by a speech pathologist, or surgery. Most importantly, a nicotine addiction will only ruin whatever voice you have, cause you health problems that your insurance doesn't cover, and eventually kill you.

None of us live in a vacuum. Your mother has not held you prisoner and without benefit of outside influence, i.e., school, the mall, the internet, and every variety of media entertainment that exists. But at 15 – while your body and, consequently, your voice is being bombarded with hormones – you have picked up a whole slew of speech patterns and modes of expression, including outward physical expression, that you and those who taunt you interpret as evidence of being "gay" or "feminine".

I live in the heart of the Castro District in San Francisco – the Gay Capitol of the World. Trust me – the vast majority of those who live here and visit here would take great issue with your descriptions, list of solutions, and more than challenge you about what it means to "speak like a man".

As a professional vocal coach and singer, my job is to help singers and actors maximize their vocal skills and communication skills. Do you sing? Do you know that virtually everybody has the capability of singing a range of at least two octaves? No matter a guy's vocal category, i.e., high tenor, baritone, or basso profundo – he can access a range that is four notes wider than the full range of the "Star Spangled Banner", which is  spread out over an octave and a major fifth. By contrast, "Happy Birthday" covers only one octave.

Can you sing "Happy Birthday"? Could you sing it loud enough to be heard across the very busy intersection of 18th Street & Castro – which has an on-going (sometimes daily) history of very loud and ultimately effective vocal protests against bullying by groups of individuals and/or the U.S. Government?

If not, then you might want to consider taking singing lessons from a vocal coach such as myself. By the time I equipped you to sing "Happy Birthday" at a volume and in a key that would override the din of cars, buses, motorcycles, touring vans, skateboarders, parents with baby carriages, barking dogs, and all the political groups advocating for their favorite candidate to be our next Mayor – on a busy weekend afternoon in the Castro – and lately, it's been tanktop (or way-less) sunny and hot – your nervous apprehensions about the sound of your voice – and what it evokes in those who hear you – would be history.

In the meantime, try to record yourself. As the editor of SanFranciscoSentinel.com, I am constantly using a simple digital camera that can make videos. I use it for all my on-site or telephone interviews. I also use the "Flip" – it takes great videos and has an amazing microphone. I have also used every variety of cassette tape recorder. While I'm transcribing my interviews for publication, I learn all kinds of things about that celebrity – simply through the way the individual uses their voice to talk to me personally and to communicate the essence of Who they are to the public. It's amazing. And it's my obsession. I may not always remember a name, but I will remember a person's voice – and my reactions to it. I would be a reliable witness for the prosecution.

As you record yourself and before you play it back, you will start to notice certain things that you would want to modify, make better or get rid of – especially if the purpose were about you preparing something for public display, like "Happy Birthday", an oral book report, or delivering the Gettysburg Address on the Washington Mall.

Again, my expertise is about using the voice in theatrical circumstances. That always means – recreating something in performance that has been carefully rehearsed in private. For my Broadway singers, that translates to doing the same show the same way 8 times a week, for however long the show lasts. It's a skill that takes time. Such abilities are not acquired overnight or through advice on an internet bulletin board.

But with a private recording and using a memorized piece – such as a poem, the lyrics to your favorite song, a dramatic monologue, a prayer, an editorial in the newspaper, etc., and practicing it in front of a mirror with the intention that you have to be heard without a microphone in one of the largest classrooms at your school – you will remember how to deliver your carefully prepared piece and not draw attention to stuff that will distract  attention away from the message. Like – all kinds of unnecessary body language, interrupted phrasing because you didn't take in enough breath, lack of eye contact, or an undercurrent of energy that seems to suggest you'd rather be somewhere else.

I took my first voice lesson when I was 18. I knew I wanted to be an opera singer. I knew I was a baritone. My hero was a baritone who frequently sang at the Metropolitan Opera, Robert Merrill – a charismatic guy who had the sound of a heavyweight boxer (whatever THAT means). I learned all of his arias from a recording and fell in love with the baritone repertoire. I knew I could do it eventually, just like that. In other words, I realized that any wannabe operatic baritone has to sing this same stuff, like that, in front of a panel of judges, and compete against god-knows-how-many other carefully prepared operatic baritones who know the same material, the same way, and might have a better voice but not be as good an actor, or as cute as, or as tall as, whatever. Six months after my first lesson, I made my debut, got my first check, and have been singing ever since. These days, in my free time, I'm singing along with the Celtic Tenors.

Bottom line – improvement in anything, such as developing better speaking or singing skills, comes with intelligent practice. It will not come about by cultivating a disguise, or using substances that will ruin your health, or going under the surgeon's knife.

Best regards,
Seán Martinfield
SanFranciscoSentinel.com
http://www.sanfranciscosentinel.com/?cat=65